


The Reality of Dreams

by gyujaems (baeksreign)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-09 06:33:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16444661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeksreign/pseuds/gyujaems
Summary: Jeno realizes that his dreams seem far too familiar, and he begins to think that his new neighbor has something to do with it.





	1. Chapter 1

“Wait!”

 

All of Jeno’s dreams have been the same for over a week now. They started off the same, with a blurry scene occurring around him before fading to black. That was the clearest part. His eyes opened, welcoming him into what seemed to be a universe full of darkness. Looking down, there was water. In front of him was a light that, for some reason, he knew he had to catch.

 

He put his hand out and, just as he saw the light illuminate his fingertips, it shot forward. Jeno immediately ran after it. He ran as fast as his legs could take him, until his heart felt like it would rip out of his chest. The light never came closer. The water did begin to engulf and swallow him, though. It consumed him until he could feel the pressure squeezing the air out of his lungs.

 

So when he woke up, he was gasping for air. It all felt too real.

 

Jeno sat up as he heaved, looking around with wide eyes to take in his surroundings. He put his hands down on either side of himself and felt his sleeping bag on the floor. Renjun’s floor. Sighing, he closed his eyes for a moment. He was at a sleepover.

 

“You okay?” A tired voice next to him whispered. It was Jisung, his younger friend who was towering over him in height already.

 

Jeno nodded. “Yeah, I think so. Just a bad dream.”

 

His eyes gave one more quick sweep across the room just so he could reassure his mind that he was safe. He wasn’t drowning and there was no light he was chasing. Sliding down into his sleeping bag, he adjusted his pillow underneath his head and sighed. Jisung was already snoring again, which oddly made Jeno relieved. He didn’t want to tell his friends about the dreams that have been torturing him, they would only worry and ask questions that Jeno didn’t know the answers to.

 

-

 

“Why the hell did we decide to have a sleepover on a school night?” Renjun asked as he stared into space with blank eyes. He looked dead inside, which would make sense considering he had decided to chug an entire energy drink the night before.

 

“Well, Renjunnie,” Haechan started obnoxiously, waving his plastic fork in the air after eating a strawberry. Haechan never used nicknames unless he was trying to flirt (this was very common) or he was picking a fight.  “It _was_ your genius idea since you decided that you would rather study over the weekend.” He scrunched his nose and stuck his tongue out, making Mark sigh next to him.

 

“I have an exam Monday!” Renjun retorted, suddenly wide awake.

 

Before Haechan could mock him some more, Mark narrowed his eyes, which immediately made Haechan clear his throat as if he was stopping himself. “Give me one of those.” Mark said, reaching for one of Haechan’s strawberries.

 

“You literally just ate your own fruit bowl.”

 

“Yeah, so? I want one of your fruits now.”

 

“The school only gives us so much, fatass!”

 

Mark whined. “How am I a fatass? I’m eating fruit!”

 

“ _My_ fruit.”

 

Jeno sighed and looked at the empty seat next to him. There were seven chairs at their table, and it seemed like a little meaningless detail but he wondered why one was empty. Six people in his friend group, one extra chair. As far as he knew, the seventh chair had always been there. Shaking his head, he looked back at his friends just in time to see Haechan leaning in to kiss Mark’s cheek and Mark trying to shove him away. They made up fast.

 

“Jeno!” Renjun snapped a finger in front of Jeno’s face, making him jump. “What’s up with you? You’re out of it.”

 

Rubbing his eyes, Jeno turned his head to look at Renjun. Renjun was his best and closest friend, so it made sense to hear so much concern in his voice. “Sorry. Just really sleepy, I guess.” He offered the other a small smile, and he felt relieved when Renjun let out a breath of laughter.

 

“You and me both!” Renjun patted Jeno on the back, laughing as he returned to eating his food and yawning between bites.

 

Jeno smiled, glancing at the empty chair once more out of the corner of his eyes. There was an emptiness there, and he didn’t know why it was bothering him so much. Maybe it was the fact that everything seemed off. As soon as the dreams started, he felt like he somehow had stepped into another universe. It wasn’t just the empty seat at lunch, it was the empty house next to his, and the fact that he walked home alone when he felt like someone should be with him.

 

That’s why he asked Renjun to walk home with him after school.

 

“I can’t believe you asked me to study. You don’t even have an exam coming up and you get perfect grades regardless.” Renjun gave Jeno a playful nudge with his elbow.

 

Jeno laughed, his eyes making their famous crescent shape as he did. “Exactly! I’m super smart so I’m gonna help you not be super dumb.” He nodded firmly and kicked a small rock that was blocking his path as the two walked down the sidewalk.

 

“Please.” Renjun snorted.

 

Renjun began babbling on about how he was a genius and how he himself taught Einstein everything he knew. Jeno blocked most of it out, though. He had learned to just nod along while Renjun talked like that. As the two approached his house, he looked at the vacant house next to his own and pursed his lips when noticing the large ‘SOLD!’ sign across the garage. New neighbors.

 

Jeno sat on the edge of his bed after walking up the stairs to his bedroom, Renjun trailing behind. He was still going on about his intellectual mind.

 

“And that is why I am smarter than you will ever be.” Renjun finally halted and sat on the floor in front of Jeno’s bed, digging through his bag. “Oh, fuck. I left my textbook in my locker.”

 

Jeno let out a loud laugh, earning a glare from his best friend. “Wow, you’re _so_ smart, Renjun. Really.”

 

Before Renjun could raise a hand to threaten Jeno, the bedroom door cracked open and he put his arm down. It was Jeno’s mom, and Renjun had her completely convinced that he was an innocent angel.

 

“Oh, are you two studying today?” She asked with a smile. Her smile was genuine and showed exactly where Jeno got his own eye catching grin from. “I just wanted to let you know, Jeno, that we have new neighbors moving in soon. I want your help baking something for them as soon as they arrive!”

 

Jeno nodded. His mom was extremely kind and extremely gullible, which is why she thought even Haechan was a ‘sweet little boy’. “Sure, mom.”

 

She nodded, looking at Renjun. “Do you want any snacks, sweetie?”

 

“No thanks, Mrs. Lee. I brought my own lunch to school today so I’m full.” Renjun said with a wide smile plastered across his face that made Jeno snort.

 

“Okay, just let me know.” She gave a little wave before leaving the room, gently shutting the door behind her.

 

“You’re so full of shit.” Jeno threw a pillow at Renjun, laughing even as Renjun stood up and raised a fist. A rather small fist.

 

“Shut your mouth.” Renjun threatened with a glare before bursting into laughter and flopping back down onto his spot on the floor, grabbing Jeno’s bookbag so he could steal his textbook.

 

-

 

It was the same dream again. At least, it started almost the same.

 

The scene around him was a little clearer. He was sitting on the edge of the driveway in front of someone’s house, and he could hear crickets around him along with the distant sound of the city. The air was chilly enough to make him shiver whenever a gust of wind blew past him, making him wonder why the hell he wasn’t wearing a jacket.

 

Jeno felt like he was waiting for someone; although he didn’t know why and he didn’t know who. It didn’t feel like he was waiting on Renjun to show up. Shaking his head, he looked up at the sky. The stars were bright and he smiled to himself. This was the most peaceful dream yet.

 

The sound of footsteps suddenly approaching him snapped him out of his daydream. However, the footsteps didn’t startle him. It was like he was expecting them, and he was familiar with their weight as they came closer.

 

“Jeno.” A voice called out, and suddenly it was like the dark sky had fallen and wrapped itself around him. He was suddenly in that same, black endless expanse.

 

“No.” Jeno whispered and blinked away tears. He felt sad. He felt alone and he didn’t know why as the light appeared in front of him again. Reaching out with a shaky hand, almost as if he had no control over his movements, he tried to touch the light. It immediately darted away and so he ran. He let his feet carry him across the water until it started to rise. He was drowning again and he couldn’t reach what he was running toward.

 

Gasping for air as he jolted awake from his sleep, Jeno threw his covers off of himself. He was sweating bullets and there were tears staining his cheeks. “What the hell?” He whispered, looking around his dark room. He hated the dark now.

 

Turning on his lamp, he got up from his bed and put his glasses on before sleepily dragging his feet over to his window. Pulling the curtains aside and opening the blinds, he took in a deep breath as the moonlight and city lights poured into his room. Looking over a little, he noticed a car pulled into the neighboring house’s driveway. There were two people unloading boxes, and he raised an eyebrow. “They’re moving in rather late.” He mumbled.

  


-

 

Jeno tried to catch up on his sleep during school the next day. He knew his grades could afford it, and he also knew he sure as hell needed rest. Luckily, the teachers woke him before the dreams could take their darker turn. He didn’t have as clear as a dream as he did the night before, though. They were all blurry and the sounds were fuzzy.

 

He walked to the nearby ice cream shop with his friends after class instead of heading home. He had insisted on going home and taking a nap, but Chenle repeatedly argued that the new ice cream flavor was ‘so good it slaps’.

 

Jeno silently ate his oreo ice cream. He got his in a bowl, arguing that it wasn’t as messy as a cone. Haechan and Mark were weird, though. They would share a large cone of three scoops (different flavors), not caring if they licked from the same spot. It didn’t surprise Jeno much, though, considering he’d slept next to them at sleepovers before and heard their tiny kisses and giggles.

 

It was supposed to be a secret that they were a thing, but no one bought it.

 

“I told you, it’s good!” Chenle punched Jisung’s arm as Jisung tried the new cotton candy flavor before scrunching his nose. Chenle frowned at this.

 

Jisung, noticing Chenle’s pout, immediately plastered a smile on his face. “It’s delicious!” He exclaimed before going in for another spoonful. This made Chenle smile, which of course meant Jisung felt better.

 

It was safe to say that Jeno felt a wave of relief when Renjun showed up, sitting next to him after ordering his ice cream. “Renjun to the rescue!”

 

Renjun and Jeno were the only two in the group to not have a _thing_ with each other. Chenle and Jisung made them roll their eyes at their obvious puppy love, while Mark and Haechan made their feelings so painfully obvious it made everyone cringe. Jeno argued that he just wasn’t looking for a relationship, and everyone knew Renjun had a crush on someone in his calculus class. Besides, that would be weird.

 

“Thank god you showed up. I was feeling like a..” Jeno pursed his lips as if he was counting in his head. “Fifth wheel?”

 

“I don’t know if that’s how it works, but you’re welcome.” Renjun thanked the worker once they brought his bowl of ice cream over. He immediately dug into it with his spoon as if he hadn’t seen ice cream in ages. “Fuck, this is good.”

 

“See, Jisung? Renjun likes it!” Chenle whined to Jisung, and Jisung whined back. “I like it, too!”

 

Mark and Haechan were only quiet because they were too busy whispering to each other while sharing their germ-infested ice cream cone. Jeno wasn’t complaining, though. He loved them but their bickering gave him a headache sometimes.

Jeno looked at the spot on the other side of him, and immediately sighed. It was another empty spot. “Do you guys feel like someone’s missing all the time?”

 

Everyone grew quiet, except for Haechan.

 

“Oh, Jeno.” Haechan sighed with concern, smiling mischievously as he reached across the table to touch Jeno’s arm in a way that was supposed to be comforting. “Are you lonely? You know I offered to set you up with Yukhei, but you-”

 

“Shut up!” Jeno groaned and pulled his arm back. “I’m not lonely. I just feel like someone is supposed to be here.”

 

Haechan  nodded. “Okay! When I call your name, say ‘here’!”

 

Haechan cleared his throat before sitting up straight.

 

“Mark?” “Here.”

 

“Jisung?” “Here.”

 

“Chenle?” “Here.”

 

“Renjun?” “Here.”

 

“Haechan? Here.”

 

“Jeno?”

 

Jeno was glaring at Haechan from across the table, and Haechan felt himself leaning into Mark’s side when noticing this. “Can you take me seriously for once in your life?” Jeno begged, sticking his spoon in the ice cream he didn’t really have an appetite for anymore. “I haven’t gotten good sleep in weeks and the last thing I need is for you to add to my headache-”

 

“Whoa, calm down.” Mark frowned. He was frustrated, but he didn’t let it show. He was usually the mediator whenever there was an argument or a disagreement, which was perfect for them. “Haechan was just joking. If you don’t feel well and you haven’t gotten any sleep, why didn’t you say something?”

 

“Because I knew you would act like this!” Jeno snapped. He was angry, and he opened his mouth to speak again before Renjun touched his arm in a calming manner.

 

Haechan frowned, and Jeno immediately felt bad. He knew Haechan didn’t have bad intentions and that he just wanted to make everyone laugh. His nickname was ‘Full Sun’ for a reason. “Look,” Haechan started with a more serious voice this time, “I’m sorry. What do you mean someone’s missing?”

 

“I-” Jeno felt his heart drop. He knew exactly what he meant but he couldn’t explain the emptiness everywhere. “I don’t know. I just- I’ve been having bad dreams lately, okay? And I just notice that everywhere around me, there’s an empty spot like someone should be there.” Jeno looked at the empty chair again. “Forget it. I just need sleep.”

 

Mark glanced around at everyone as if reading their expressions so that he would get an idea of what everyone wanted to say but didn’t know how to. “Maybe you’re just stressed. We’re all seniors now, so there’s a lot going on for each of us.” He was speaking gently, which soothed Jeno a bit. “Your subconscious is afraid of losing us, maybe? Once we all graduate, I mean?”

 

Haechan frowned at that. He knew Mark talked about going back to Canada for college, and he didn’t like the idea for reasons that everyone pretended not to know.

 

“What I mean is,” Mark started as he wrapped an arm around Haechan’s shoulders, keeping his eyes on Jeno. “We’re here for you, okay? All of us are here and no one is missing. It’ll always be like that.”

 

Nodding, Jeno smiled a little. Mark had a way of making each of them feel better. That’s why he was named as their leader years ago.

 

-

 

When Jeno got home and walked into the kitchen to grab a snack, he paused in his steps. There was a basket full of cookies on the counter with a note next to it.

 

‘Jeno, I was called into work so I won’t be back until morning. Take these to our new neighbors, please! Love, mom.’ The note read.

 

Blinking, Jeno put the note aside and stared at the basket. _Great_ , he thought. He knew this would be awkward. His mom was known in their neighborhood (or possibly in the entire city) for being so kind. That meant that when it came to greeting new neighbors, she usually did the talking while he hung back or just stayed at home. Now he had to gather both his social skills and his courage just to deliver cookies.

 

Jeno, however, was not expecting a handsome boy in his twenties to open the door. He shuffled his feet awkwardly, clutching the basket of cookies in both hands. “H-Hi” His voice cracked and he swore at himself in his mind.

 

The boy chuckled and looked over his shoulder. “Jaemin, I think our neighbor has something for us!” He called before stepping to the side to allow Jeno to walk inside their freshly furnished home. “My name’s Jaehyun. I live here with my younger brother who’s probably about your age.”

 

“I’m Jeno.” Jeno wanted to give a little wave, but his hands were occupied with the basket. _Why a basket, mom? Why couldn’t you just put them in a bag or something?_

 

His thoughts were interrupted as he looked toward the staircase when hearing hurried footsteps. He caught his breath in his throat while looking at the boy who was now standing in front of him.

He was pretty.

 

The boy smiled, and Jeno swore he saw him glow for a moment.

 

Jaehyun awkwardly cleared his throat and took the basket of cookies out of Jeno’s tight grasp. “I’ll let you two introduce yourselves. Thanks for the cookies, Jeno.” He chuckled and walked towards the kitchen.

 

“I’m Jeno.” Jeno’s throat was dry and he put a hand out toward the boy with round eyes and a pretty smile.

 

The pretty boy laughed as he shook the hand between them. “My name’s Jaemin. It’s nice to meet you, Jeno.”

 

Jeno did not expect to be standing awkwardly in the middle of the boy’s- Jaemin’s room five minutes later. The other was extremely friendly and had absolutely no issue talking his head off. That made it easy for Jeno, though.

 

“So, I can walk to school with you if you want.” Jaemin sat on his bed, crossing his legs underneath him and looking up at Jeno. Jeno honestly didn’t hear anything Jaemin said before that.

 

“Oh, yeah. Okay.” Jeno nodded. He was fiddling with his fingers, a habit he had when nervous. “I usually walk by myself, so that would be nice.”

 

Nodding, Jaemin smiled and looked around his room. “Sorry my room is kind of plain. I haven’t finished decorating yet and Jaehyun won’t buy me the fairy lights I’ve been begging for.” He looked back at Jeno just in time to catch his gaze before Jeno’s eyes darted somewhere else. Jaemin chuckled.

 

“You’re so stiff.” Jaemin said, patting the spot next to him on his bed. “Come here.”

 

“What?”

 

“Sit next to me. I’m not gonna attack you.”

 

Jeno pursed his lips, hesitantly walking forward and crawling onto Jaemin’s bed. He sat next to him and got comfortable, but he didn’t sit too close.

 

“Tell me about yourself, Jeno.” Jaemin was turning to face Jeno and he had the brightest smile on his face. Jeno blinked, looking over Jaemin’s face and feeling a little bit of heat rush to his cheeks.

 

“Uh, what do you want to know?”

 

Jaemin pouted. “Whatever you want to tell me, I guess. I can find out more as we become friends.”

 

 _Become friends_? Jeno raised an eyebrow. This kid was definitely friendly. “Okay,” Jeno started, glancing around the room, “I like cats.”

 

“That’s it?”

 

“I’m allergic to them, though.”

 

“Oh. You could get one of the hairless ones though, right?”

 

“Yeah, I guess I could.”

 

“What else?”

 

“I used to play basketball. I stopped because I sucked.” Jeno admitted. He jumped a little when Jaemin bursted into laughter, but he found himself laughing too.

 

Jaemin touched his cheeks as if he was trying to massage the pain out of them from laughing too hard. “So you aren’t sporty.” He nodded. “What weather do you like?”

 

“Is this an interview?” Jeno chuckled.

 

“I’m just curious!” Jaemin whined and playfully shoved Jeno’s arm. “I like it when the sun’s out but it’s a little chilly. Now, what do you like?”

 

Jeno pursed his lips. He never really thought about his favorite weather. He knew his favorite season, but he never found himself complaining over the clouds or sun. “I like that too. The rain is nice sometimes, I think.”

 

Jaemin smiled as if he was happy with that response. “Awesome. What kind of movies do you like?” He was reaching for his remote to turn the TV on that sat on his dresser across from his bed. “We can watch one and hang out here if you want.”

 

“I’m not too picky.” Jeno shrugged. In truth, though, he really did enjoy horror movies. Jaemin only nodded, scrolling down to the horror section as if he read Jeno’s mind.

 

Jeno learned a lot about his new neighbor that night.

 

First of all, he hadn’t complained about watching horror movies but he was jumpy and Jeno swore he heard Jaemin whine like a puppy whenever he got scared. Second, he really liked candy. He had a stash of different assortments of candies next to his bed that he offered to Jeno, and Jeno denied because it was too late for candy. Third, Jaemin was clingy. Physically clingy. By the end of the movie Jaemin had his arms wrapped tightly around Jeno’s waist and he was glued to his side. Jeno didn’t really know how to react.

 

He didn’t complain until the movie was over  and Jaemin fell asleep attached to him.

 

The situation reminded Jeno of sleepovers with his friends. They never clung onto him like this, but sometimes he would wake up in the middle of the night and Jisung would have a long leg thrown over him so that he couldn’t move or even roll over.

 

“Jaemin?”  Jeno wiggled around in an attempt to gently wake Jaemin, but the boy didn’t budge. He stared down at him, chuckling to himself while thinking that this was the most quiet Jaemin has been since he had met him just hours ago.

 

Jaemin was really pretty, though. That’s what Jeno kept thinking. They were about the same height so it was easy for Jeno to take in Jaemin’s appearance whenever he looked at him. He had dark brown hair long enough for the ends of his fringe to touch his very long eyelashes. Speaking of his eyelashes, Jeno couldn’t get over how pretty they were on his cheeks as he slept.

 

Clearing his throat, Jeno took himself out of his thoughts and gently held onto Jaemin’s arms, unwinding them from around his thin waist. “Goodnight.” He whispered once he managed to escape from Jaemin’s embrace. Grabbing a throw blanket from the bed, he placed it around Jaemin, careful not to wake him so that he could take his leave from his bedroom.

 

As Jeno walked the few meters towards his own home, he glanced back at Jaemin and Jaehyun’s house, smiling. He couldn’t wait to introduce him to the others.


	2. Chapter 2

It rained the next morning. Not too hard, but it was enough to make Jeno happy. He was relieved when Jaemin was prepared with an umbrella, holding it between them so that they would both be sheltered. 

 

“You like the rain, right?” Jaemin asked, fluttering his long eyelashes at Jeno.

 

“Yeah, I do. I told you last night.”  Jeno chuckled and put his hands in his pockets. It felt nice having someone walk to school with him. Usually the walk was long and boring, and if he didn’t have anyone with him on this day he would have been drenched from the rain.

 

Jaemin nodded, looking up at the school gate as they approached it. “I’m.. sorry I fell asleep on you last night, by the way.” He used his free hand to rub the nape of his neck as if he was embarrassed. “I was just tired from moving in.”

 

“That’s okay. I was just shocked.” Jeno playfully widened his eyes at his new neighbor. “How could you manage to fall asleep during a movie that had you pissing yourself?”

 

Whining, Jaemin shoved Jeno’s side, knocking him out of the protection of the umbrella. Jeno gasped and immediately returned under the umbrella, throwing his arms around Jaemin’s side. “Don’t do that.” Jeno whined.

 

Jaemin chuckled, and suddenly Jeno could feel his cheeks heating up.

 

“Who is this?”

 

Jeno looked up at the familiar voice, and he smiled when he saw that it was Renjun. He was holding his own umbrella- one with little ducklings on it. “Renjun!” He let go of Jaemin to run under Renjun’s umbrella instead, embracing him in a tight hug. “This is my new neighbor.”

 

“Oh, someone moved in?” Renjun asked as Jeno pulled away only to hurry back under Jaemin’s umbrella. Jaemin was pouting a bit, and Jeno didn’t understand why. “Cool. I’m Renjun, Jeno’s best friend.”

 

“Nice to meet you.” Jaemin said with a smile. A smile smaller than the ones Jeno saw. “I’m Jaemin.”

 

Showing Jaemin around the school was easier than Jeno thought. He seemed to learn where everything was pretty quickly, and he knew exactly where his classes were when he was told the numbers of the classrooms. 

 

“Are you sure you haven’t been here before?” Jeno asked playfully.

 

Jaemin hesitated before answering, half of his lips turning up into a grin. “Yeah.”

 

Jeno thought Jaemin got lost, though, when he wasn’t showing up for lunch. Maybe he was just impatient, but he was excited to introduce him to the others. The empty chair that bothered him so much could finally be filled. 

 

“Where’s your new friend? Is he cute?” Haechan asked, rolling his eyes when he noticed Mark’s pout. “I’m asking for Jeno. He’s so lonely.”

 

“I am not lonely.”

 

“Dude.” Jisung butted in, Jeno gasping as if he was betrayed. 

 

“I have you guys!” Jeno was pouting and he huffed as he took a bite of the sandwich his mom had packed for him. “Even if he is cute, I’m not looking for a relationship.”

 

“So he  _ is  _ attractive.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

When the sound of a tray being placed next to him on the table snapped him out of his thoughts, Jeno looked up to see Jaemin. Jaemin was smirking, and Jeno felt himself panic. “Did you hear any of that?”

 

“What? No.” Jaemin raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips, quickly shaking his head. He put his bag down and took the empty seat next to Jeno. “All I heard is that you think I’m cute.”

 

“I didn’t-”

 

“I’m Jaemin.” He hummed, ignoring Jeno’s failed attempt to deny what he heard. 

 

Glancing between Jaemin and Jeno, Haechan smiled. It was that same mischievous smile that he always had when he was teasing someone. Jeno was his usual victim. “I’m Haechan.” He put his elbow on the table, resting his chin in the palm of his hand. “This is Mark, he’s unavailable. That’s Chenle; that’s Jisung,” he pointed at everyone as he introduced them, “and you, of course, know Jeno.”

 

Jeno had his face in his hands, mentally convincing himself not to punch the smile off of Haechan’s face. He wanted to end it all right there when he heard Jaemin’s little giggle.

 

Luckily, Chenle changed the subject to talk about the gifts his family from China had sent him. 

 

“Jeno.” Renjun whispered from his seat next to Jeno, elbowing his side gently. “Have you been sleeping better? You look tired.”

 

“Not really.” Jeno replied quietly so he didn’t interrupt Chenle’s rambling. “I mean, the other night I managed to have a clear dream, but I still ended up drowning so-”

 

“What? You didn’t say anything about that.”

 

Frowning, Jeno shook his head. “It’s okay. They’re just nightmares.” He shrugged and reached for his apple juice. As he did, he was unable to help himself from looking at Jaemin when he felt his gaze burning on him. Jaemin was frowning, but he quickly looked away and focused his attention on Chenle.

 

“And that is why I never run out of food.” Chenle finally finished, Jisung clapping as if Chenle just gave a TED talk.

 

“Anyways.” Haechan slapped his hands on the table and let out a giant sigh of relief that seemed like he had been holding in since Chenle began speaking. “Jaemin! You should join us tonight.” He smiled. “We’re going to get ice cream, Mark is gonna buy us all snacks, and then we’re having a sleepover at my place.”

 

“I’m not paying for-”

 

“Be quiet, sweetie.” Haechan interrupted, patting Mark’s cheeks. “You’re paying. If I have to host all of you little shits at my house, someone else has to buy the food.”

 

Mark pouted, but didn’t refuse.

 

Glancing at Jeno, Jaemin nodded. “Sure.” He nodded and stole Jeno’s last piece of fruit, popping it into his mouth. He smiled when Jeno whined. “That sounds fun.”

 

-

  
  


“Who’s this?” Mark teased when walking into Haechan’s house and picking up one of the framed pictures off the top of the fireplace. It was a baby picture of Haechan sporting only a diaper and a bright, toothless smile.

 

Haechan immediately swiped the picture from Mark’s grasp, tossing it onto the couch and throwing a pillow over it. “Fuck you, Mark Lee.”

 

“They’re always like this. Don’t let them fool you.” Jisung said to Jaemin, taking his shoes off and placing them neatly by the door. “They act like they hate each other but they’ll make out in front of us all later like the inconsiderate couple they are.”

 

“Excuse me?” Haechan pointed at himself, jabbing his own chest and raising his eyebrows like someone just insulted his life. “You guys don’t have to look. And we aren’t a couple.”

 

Jeno rolled his eyes at that. “Welcome to my life.” He said to Jaemin, the two of them cracking up into laughter as soon as they met each other’s gazes. He beckoned for his neighbor to follow him, leading him up the stairs and to the first door on the right. It was Haechan’s room. “I’m bringing you here first so you can pick your spot before someone else snatches it.”

 

“Where will you be?”

 

“I put my sleeping bag here.” Jeno motioned to the spot closest to the tall window. 

 

“Then I’ll be right here.” Jaemin said in a high-pitched teasing voice, putting his bag next to the empty spot Jeno referred to. 

 

Jeno blinked. “Okay.” He cleared his throat and fiddled with his fingers before putting his bag next to Jaemin’s. “All the sleeping bags are stashed in Haechan’s closet.” He said, glancing at Jaemin before walking towards the closet and sliding both doors open. He could feel Jaemin’s gaze on him, and he ignored it the best he could as he pulled out two pink sleeping bags.

 

“You like pink?” Jaemin wore a wide grin.

 

“Shut up.” Jeno mumbled and rolled the sleeping bags out in front of both of their bags to claim their spots officially. “Renjun usually takes your spot, so he might get jealous.”

 

Jaemin pouted and hugged Jeno’s arm. “Would you rather me move?”

 

Jeno shook his head, avoiding Jaemin’s eyes. “N-No. You’re fine.”

 

“Good!” Jaemin chuckled, nuzzling his nose playfully against Jeno’s blushing cheek. “I like this spot.”

 

The both of them looked toward the door when hearing a faked cough. Haechan was leaning against the doorway with his iconic smile. “What? Why are you two looking at me like I intruded on something?” He shrugged his shoulders and raised his arms in defense while walking to his bed. “You are in my room, after all.”

 

Jeno wiggled himself out of Jaemin’s hold. “Shut up.”

 

Jaemin giggled and looked Jeno over. “I didn’t bring any pajamas.” He pouted, and Jeno sighed as if he somehow knew what he would say next. “Jeno?”

 

“I might have left some here from our last sleepover.” Jeno said quietly.   
  


“Then I’ll borrow yours!” Jaemin squealed, clapping his hands together. “Yay!”

 

“Luckily, I washed Jeno’s dirty clothes that he rudely left here.” Haechan said playfully. “I’ll grab them. Please don’t make out in my bedroom.” He teased, running out of the room before Jeno could punch him.

 

Renjun walked into the room next with the others trailing behind, jumping to the side when Haechan darted by. “Hey-” he paused, seeing Jaemin with a sleeping bag in his usual spot. He cleared his throat. “Um, I brought movies. Scary ones, to be specific.”

 

“Great.” Chenle sighed and went to the closet to grab a sleeping bag and claim his usual spot. “I should have packed extra underwear.”

 

“Gross, dude.” Jisung muttered with a scrunched up nose. 

 

The seven of them were all huddled close against the side of Haechan’s bed as they sat on the floor, their eyes glued to the TV screen. They picked the scariest movie Renjun brought, deciding to knock out the toughest one first so the others would seem like nothing.

 

Mark passed the bucket of popcorn down the line, Jisung keeping it at his end and stuffing his mouth full. It was his responsibility to get refills since he was usually the reason for it going empty too fast.  

 

Jeno found himself nuzzled between Renjun and Jaemin, which was an interesting position to be in. On one side, Renjun was laughing at any scene that was supposed to be terrifying. On the other side, Jaemin was, to no surprise, clinging onto his side like his life depended on it. Jeno could barely focus on the movie.

 

“Jeno, how do you like these?” Jaemin whispered, and his voice made him seem like he was even closer than he was to Jeno’s side. 

 

“I never said I did.” Jeno turned his head toward Jaemin and instantly regretted it. He could see all the details of his face up close like this. He turned away as quickly as he could. 

 

“Oh.” Jaemin responded quickly and fell silent, only letting out tiny gasps when something scared him. Jeno found himself chuckling at that; he was becoming used to Jaemin holding onto him. He even allowed the arm previously resting on top of Haechan’s bed to slide around Jaemin’s shoulders.

 

Renjun wasn’t really laughing at anything anymore. He leaned his head back against a pillow he had stolen and sighed, hugging his knees to his chest. Jeno glanced at him, raising an eyebrow.

 

“What’s up?” Jeno whispered. 

Renjun shrugged. “This movie sucks.”

 

“You literally picked it.”

 

Renjun gave a small half smile, shrugging again.

 

Jeno pursed his lips and turned back to the movie, ignoring the teasing glances and pointing from Haechan. He was sure this was referring to the fact that Jaemin’s head was now on his shoulder.

 

By the time the movie was over, Haechan was laughing as he scooted to sit in the front of Jeno, who was half asleep. He raised his phone, and the only thing that made Jeno open his eyes was the flash from a camera. He didn’t know he fell asleep, but he could acknowledge that it was the most peaceful yet short-lived rest he had experienced in a long time. He dreamed about cats, and he didn’t even end up drowning. “What are you doing?” He mumbled.

 

“Saving this for evidence!” Haechan laughed, looking at the picture he just took.

 

_ Oh. _ Jaemin was still clinging onto him, but his head was against Jeno’s chest as tiny snores escaped him, Jeno’s arm wrapped loosely around his shoulders and his free hand was over Jaemin’s thigh. “Delete it.” He whisper yelled, careful not to wake Jaemin.

 

“No.” Haechan stuck out his tongue. 

 

Jeno just sighed and rolled his eyes. He gently tapped Jaemin’s shoulder, pouting when he didn’t wake up. Maybe he was a deep sleeper. “Where did the others go?”

 

“Renjun got bored so he went downstairs with Jisung and Chenle to devour some of the snacks Mark bought.” Haechan said with a shrug. 

 

“I spent my hard earned money.” Mark muttered.

 

“Yes, and we are eternally grateful.” Haechan retorted.

 

After Jeno eventually woke Jaemin with a gentle shake and moved out of his grasp, he made his way down the stairs. Chenle and Jisung were on the couch chatting and sharing a pint of ice cream, clearly with no intent of giving anyone else a spoon. “Where’s Renjun?”

 

Jisung motioned lazily with one hand to the door, and Jeno furrowed his brows. He walked to the front door, twisting the knob and opening it slowly. He poked his head out, looking around until he saw Renjun sitting on the swing on the front porch. “Renjun?”

 

“Hey.” Renjun smiled, his hands in his lap as he fiddled with his fingers and used the tips of his toes to slightly move the swing. “I thought you would look for me when you woke up. Can we talk?”

 

Nodding, Jeno walked out and shut the door behind him. “What’s up with you? You aren’t one to get bored of  a scary movie.” He chuckled, trying to somehow lighten the mood as he sat next to Renjun once the swing moved closer to him. He shuffled to get comfortable, leaning forward a bit to put his hands underneath his thighs. He and Renjun rarely had serious talks.

 

“Jaemin,” Renjun began with a sigh, “you guys are getting close pretty quick.”

 

“Are we?” Jeno’s eyes widened a bit as he looked at his best friend. “I haven’t noticed.”

 

Renjun nodded, clearing his throat and looking around. “I’ve never seen you warm up to someone so fast. You lit up when he sat next to us at lunch, and you practically fell asleep on him.” He frowned. “You know it took me three weeks just to be able to hug you.”

 

“Are you jealous?”

 

“Huh?”

 

Jeno turned his body and chuckled as he lazily threw his legs across Renjun’s lap, grinning when the other boy whined in annoyance. “Renjun, you’re my best friend. No one could ever replace you, you know that.”

 

“If I’m your best friend then why haven’t you told me about these dreams you’ve been having?” Renjun finally managed to push Jeno’s legs off of him, and he watched as Jeno pouted and instead brought his knees to his chest. “I know damn well you haven’t been able to sleep. You look like a zombie most of the time. But you somehow had no trouble sleeping with Jaemin next to you?”

 

“What, do you think Jaemin cast a sleeping spell or something? I don’t know why I had a nice  _ nap _ next to Jaemin. I don’t know why I’m having these dreams or where they’re coming from, so what the hell am I supposed to tell you?” Jeno groaned. He could feel himself becoming annoyed, and it wasn’t at Renjun, really. He felt like he had no control over his mind once he closed his eyes. “Okay, fine. I’ll tell you and you tell me if you can make any sense of it.”

 

“Go on.”

 

Jeno stared at Renjun, blinking. “I fall asleep and suddenly I’m somewhere else. It’s different every time. It isn’t like a typical dream, though. It’s all real. I can feel everything around me just fine, but it’s all blurry and it sounds like I’m in a tunnel underground or sometimes it’s like I’m underwater.” He explained slowly. “But that part is never scary. It feels like I’ve been there before. It doesn’t get scary until everything turns black and suddenly for some reason I’m chasing a light. I chase it until the water underneath my feet swallows me and then I’m  _ literally _ underwater.”

 

Jeno didn’t notice he was crying until Renjun leaned forward and wiped a tear off of his cheek. Shaking his head, Jeno rubbed his eyes. “I don’t know what’s going on, Renjun. Ever since the dreams started, I’ve felt so empty like something big has been missing. I haven’t told you because how the hell can I tell anyone something that I don’t understand myself?” He sniffled. “Don’t get mad at me for keeping this from you.”

 

“Jeno, I’m not mad. I’m just worried.” Renjun had a much more gentle tone and his gaze on Jeno was lighter, much to Jeno’s relief. “Look, tonight let’s just have fun with the others, okay? If you have trouble sleeping tonight you can wake me up and we’ll do our own thing.”

 

Smiling, Jeno nodded. “Okay.”

 

-

  
  


Jeno was too afraid to sleep that night. He was laying on his back with his head against a pillow from Haechan’s bed and his hands on his chest. Normally if he wasn’t able to sleep it was because of Mark’s snoring, but now that was the least of his annoyances. Turning his head, he saw Jaemin fast asleep next to him. He looked so peaceful, and for some reason it made Jeno smile. Beside Jaemin was Renjun, and he was practically buried underneath his sleeping bag as he cuddled a pillow to himself.

 

Jeno decided he didn’t want to wake anyone because of his own issues. Instead, he silently slipped out from underneath the blanket and stood up, tip-toeing over his friends and heading out the bedroom door as quietly as he could.

 

Walking outside, Jeno shivered at the welcoming cold air. “Jeno, bring a damn jacket for once.” He whispered and put his hands in the pockets of his pajama pants as he walked down the driveway, plopping down at the end of it and folding his legs. He liked sitting outside at night. Looking up at the sky, he let out a calm sigh at the sounds of the city ambience and watched as his cloud of breath hit the cold air. 

 

This felt familiar. Especially when Jeno could hear footsteps behind him. It wasn’t Haechan, he would have been walking faster. Jisung or Chenle would have been dragging their slippers on the ground, and Mark wouldn’t even be up at that hour. Renjun would have been too quiet for him to hear.

 

“Jeno.” A voice called out, and for a second Jeno thought he was dreaming and waited for darkness to greet him. When it didn’t come, though, he turned to see Jaemin.

 

Jaemin smiled a little, a cold gust of air blowing his messy dark hair out of place. “Why are you out here?” He chuckled, and Jeno noticed he was holding a blanket. Jaemin sat next to him, wrapping the blanket around himself and Jeno. “It’s so cold.”

 

Jeno’s eyes were wide as he stared at the boy next to him. He felt deja vu creeping up his spine. Shaking his head quickly, he held onto his corner of the blanket that was draped over his shoulder. “I- uh, I couldn’t sleep.”

 

“Ah.” Jaemin hummed. “So you come out here to catch a cold instead?”

 

“No!” Jeno whined. 

 

Giggling, Jaemin scooted closer to share his warmth from just crawling out of his blankets with Jeno. “I’m sorry you can’t sleep.” He whispered, looking at Jeno with a small frown. “I have trouble sometimes, too.”

 

Jeno met Jaemin’s concerned gaze, shaking his head. “Let’s not talk about my problems, yeah? Renjun grilled me about it already and talking about it made me uneasy.” He spoke gently once he noticed the frown on Jaemin’s face. “I didn’t mean to wake you up coming out here.”

 

At those words, Jaemin began to smile again, just enough for Jeno to feel warmth spread through him. “I’m a light sleeper.”

 

“Then why did it take me so long to wake you up when you were practically cuddling me?”

 

“I faked it.” Jaemin stuck his tongue out, laughing loudly when Jeno’s eyes widened. “You’re comfy!”

 

Whining, Jeno gave Jaemin a playful shove. “Weirdo.” He laughed, bringing a hand up to flick Jaemin’s tongue when he stuck it out at him mockingly. “Why are you so obsessed with me? It’s creepy!”

 

Jaemin pursed his lips into a pout. “Creepy? I just like you.”

 

Jeno felt defenseless at Jaemin’s pout. “Okay.” He whispered in defeat.

 

“Let’s go back inside. I’ll cuddle you until you pass out.” Jaemin said with a hum, standing up and poking Jeno’s shoulder for him to follow.

 

Jaemin wasn’t kidding. They were practically sharing a sleeping bag, Jeno managing to lay with Jaemin’s arm and leg both thrown over him. He was as stiff as a board until he fell asleep. He was rolled onto his side with his face buried in Jaemin’s chest, their legs tangled together underneath a shared blanket.

 

“Goodnight, Jeno.” Jaemin whispered under his breath.


	3. Chapter 3

Jeno sat by his rolled up sleeping bag as he lazily shoved his things into his bookbag. The only reason why Jeno was awake was because Haechan had yelled at them all to wake up so that they could escape before his parents got home. Jaemin was next to him, rolling up his sleeping bag as neatly as possible.

 

Jeno didn’t realize how cute Jaemin looked in his clothes until now. They didn’t fit him perfectly, but still looked better on him than any model in a catalogue.

 

“Why are you staring?” Jaemin asked, a playful glint in his eyes as his lips curled into a smirk.

 

Shaking his head, Jeno opened his mouth to make an excuse before being interrupted by Jisung.

 

“Bye guys!” Jisung waved, holding onto his bookbag. Chenle walked past him after waving as well. The two of them were neighbors like Jeno and Jaemin, so it was normal for them to leave and arrive together.

 

Once Jisung left, it was Mark’s turn. Haechan snuck a quick peck on his cheek before smiling and giving him a tight hug. As much as Jeno pretended to cringe at the couple, they were oddly cute. Mark even kissed Haechan’s forehead before leaving.

 

Taking up the sleeping bags and shoving them into his closet, Haechan sighed. “Jeno, you’re always so slow. Get the hell out of my house.” He chuckled and ruffled Jeno’s already messy hair. “I’ll see you guys later. Jaemin, welcome to the cool kids club.”

 

-

 

“Did you sleep better when you cuddled with me last night?” Jaemin teased, bumping Jeno’s shoulder with his own. “I’ve been told I’m good at cuddling.”

 

Jeno snorted, rolling his eyes. “Please.” He mumbled. He couldn’t help but grin. “Who else have you cuddled?”

 

“Just you.”

 

Jeno looked down as he walked, absentmindedly hopping a bit over every crack in the sidewalk. He was still used to walking by himself so having someone to talk to was new, but having Jaemin next to him oddly felt comfortable. That didn’t stop him from blushing when their hands brushed each other, though.

 

“You wanna grab something to eat?” Jaemin suggested, grabbing Jeno from his thoughts.

 

Jeno was glad they had changed out of their pajamas before leaving. “Sure. Where?”

 

Pursing his lips, Jaemin shrugged. His lips looked soft, especially when he was pouting like that. “There’s a diner a block away from here that looks good.”

 

Somehow, Jaemin knew Jeno’s favorite restaurant. Maybe it was a coincidence, just like how he knew he liked horror movies.

 

Jeno had dreamed about his eighteenth birthday the night before. He knew because he recognized the cake in front of him. From what he knew in reality, his eighteenth birthday had been spent alone. His friends had all been out of town for vacations, and his mom was busy with work. So he had baked the cake by himself, messy frosting and all.

 

It was different in his dream, though.

 

Jaemin was there. They baked the cake together, putting icing on each other’s faces and laughing at each other while decorating it.

 

“You’re supposed to wait for it to cool before you put frosting on it!” Jaemin whined, leaning over Jeno’s shoulder while Jeno spread the frosting across the cake with a knife.

 

“Be quiet. It’s my birthday.” Jeno had mumbled.

 

He only heard Jaemin laugh before pressing a kiss to his cheek.

 

Then it was dark. Jeno felt sorrow as he ran, but he noticed something different this time. The light was closer, and he could even feel the light itself on his fingers before it darted away. He had held his breath longer under the water this time, too.

  


“Jeno, what is it?” Jaemin asked, sipping on a vanilla milkshake across from Jeno. Jeno was getting lost in his thoughts again.

 

Jeno smiled a little and shrugged. “You asked me if I slept better last night.” He tapped his fingers on the table before stealing one of Jaemin’s french fries. “I- uh. Nevermind, it’s embarrassing.”

 

Jaemin suddenly had a bright smile, and Jeno felt his heart skip a beat. “What? I wanna know!”

 

“I dreamed about you.”

 

Jaemin blinked and pressed his lips together before smiling again. The smile was smaller than the previous one, but he didn’t look surprised. “Oh?” He whispered, pushing his milkshake aside and wiping his hands off on a napkin. “What do you think that means?”

 

“I don’t know.” Jeno shrugged, his cheeks a light shade of pink. “It has to be a coincidence.”

 

“Right.”

 

Jaemin was suddenly quiet, and Jeno was in awe as he looked him over. He wondered what he was thinking about. What was making him frown and putting him in such a state of silence? Jaemin scrunched his nose when he was in deep thought, Jeno realized . “Jaemin?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Did I weird you out?”

 

“No!” Jaemin whined and reached across the table, curling a hand over his. “Not at all.”

 

Jeno cleared his throat. He was staring at the pair’s joined hands, hesitantly pulling away before he could give in to the temptation to play with Jaemin’s slender fingers. That made Jaemin frown, but he didn’t notice. He was too shy to make eye contact with him.

 

The walk home was quiet, and Jeno knew he was unable to spark up a conversation if Jaemin couldn’t. Jaemin was responsible for fixing awkward silences. So when it came time to part, Jeno just stood at the end of his driveway quietly.

 

“I’ll see you.. Soon?” Jaemin sounded unsure. He smiled a little when Jeno nodded. Offering a little wave, he turned in the direction of his house and glanced over his shoulder to see Jeno hurriedly walking towards his front door.

 

-

 

“Welcome home!” Jaehyun exclaimed from the kitchen once Jaemin walked inside, kicking his shoes off. Jaehyun was washing dishes, and Jaemin only knew because he heard a glass break.

 

“Thanks.” Jaemin replied quietly and with much less enthusiasm. Walking to the kitchen, he slung his bookbag onto the couch when passing the living room.

 

“How’d it go?” Jaehyun asked with a hum, offering his younger brother a glance and a smile. “You know, with Jeno and the others? Did you make friends?”

 

Jaemin shrugged, a small frown on his face. “I guess.” He said, letting a small chuckle escape his lips. “Jeno dreamt about me.”

 

Pausing, Jaehyun nodded. “That’s good, isn’t it? Why do you look so upset?” He asked with one raised eyebrow. Jaemin only shook his head in response, turning to go towards the stairs. “Jaemin!” He called, sighing when he got no response. “This is teen angst to the extreme.”

 

-

 

Jeno sat at his desk the next night, leaning back in his chair and reaching up to adjust his glasses. He hadn’t spoken to Jaemin since they had walked home together the day before, and he found himself returning to blurry dreams when he managed to close his eyes. During quick naps he swore he dreamt of his neighbor.

 

Sighing loudly, he leaned forward again and hovered over his open textbook. Picking up a highlighter, he went over some key terms on the pages. Still, though, he found his mind drifting.

 

Jeno gazed out of the window by his desk and pursed his lips, looking at Jaemin’s house. He could see his bedroom window from his own, and he found himself chuckling when he noticed the light of fairy lights dangling from his curtains. “So Jaehyun did buy them for him.” He whispered.

 

“Jeno!” His mom shouted from downstairs, nearly making him fall backwards in his chair.

 

Jeno hurried down the stairs, sighing in almost relief when he saw Renjun waiting on the couch. “I didn’t know you were coming over. Did you text?” He asked and gestured for Renjun to follow him up the stairs.

 

“No.” Renjun chuckled, following Jeno into his bedroom and shutting the door behind him. “I thought I could just show up. Best friend rights.” He flopped himself down onto Jeno’s bed, smiling.

 

“I was studying, but sure.” Jeno closed his textbook, sitting down on his chair and spinning around in it to face his best friend. “What’s up?”

 

Renjun shrugged. “I was bored.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“How did you sleep last night? Is it getting better?” Renjun’s concern was easily readable.

 

“I mean, if you consider dreaming of Jaemin ‘better’, then sure.” Jeno snorted. “If I’m not dreaming like a blind man with blurs around me then I’m dreaming about the newest addition to our friend group.”

 

Renjun grinned. “Blind man? You do wear glasses to read.”

 

“Hey!”

 

“Joking.” Renjun raised his hands in defense, glancing at Jaemin’s bedroom window from Jeno’s. “Okay… so? You have a crush on him and therefore  you’re dreaming about him. We’ve all had dreams about crushes before.”

 

“I am not-”

 

“Jeno, please.” Renjun sighed. “You can hide yourself from everyone else because they’re dumbasses, but not me. You think he’s cute.”

 

“Okay. If I’m crushing on him like you say, then I royally fucked up.” Jeno folded his arms across his chest. “I told him I dreamed about him and he acted weird after. I haven’t spoken to him since.”

 

“Why would you-” Renjun groaned and ran a hand through his dyed blond hair, rubbing his forehead after in frustration. “He lives right there, Jeno. You can literally see his bedroom window. Why don’t you make a move?”

 

Jeno narrowed his eyes. “Make a move?” He whispered as if Jaemin could hear him. “You’re one to talk! You’ve never-”

 

“I have experience.”

 

“Bullshit.”

 

Huffing in annoyance, Renjun stood up. “I’m gonna call Chenle and ask if he wants to go see a movie or something. While I do that, I need you to gather all your courage and go talk to Jaemin.” He walked forward and poked Jeno’s forehead teasingly. “Don’t be weird. I promise you’ll have more fun with him than you will studying and moping in your bedroom.”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

-

 

Jeno stood in front of Jaemin’s front door, staring at it with a blank expression. “Why do I let Renjun convince me? Gather my courage?” He muttered, and raised a hand. “I am not a coward.” He knocked on the door.

 

He felt like a coward when the door opened and he was staring at Jaemin.

 

“Hi!” Jaemin was smiling, which erased all thoughts Jeno had of Jaemin being weirded out by him. Jeno didn’t have to talk much, Jaemin had already grabbed his hand and pulled him up the stairs without giving him a moment to explain himself. “You’re here just in time.”

 

“In time for what?”

 

“Look!” Jaemin opened his bedroom door, nearly squealing in excitement when running into his room and pointing at his new lights. “Aren’t they so pretty? Jaehyun bought them for me!”

 

Jeno blinked and looked at the lights he already saw from his own window. He looked at Jaemin, noticing the excited expression on his face. “Very pretty.” He said, his voice cracking and his cheeks reddening. He allowed Jaemin to grab his hand again and pull him towards the bed so they could both sit down. Jaemin was still smiling, and Jeno thought it was contagious as he wore a small grin himself.

 

“What’s up?” Jaemin grabbed a nearby pillow, hugging it to himself while looking across at Jeno. The fairy lights were making his eyes sparkle, and that was the first thing Jeno noticed. “It’s late, you know.”

 

“Yeah. I just wanted to-” Jeno stopped mid sentence, debating in his mind whether he should apologize or make an excuse. “Hang out.”

 

“Oh.” Jaemin nodded slowly. He looked Jeno over, smiling a little when his eyes stopped on something. “Okay. You look cute with your glasses on, by the way.”

 

“Thanks.” Jeno whispered, cursing at himself mentally when his voice cracked again.

 

“Are you gonna spend the night here?”

 

“I guess I can.” Jeno looked around the bedroom. “I’ll sleep on the floor. Your bed isn’t big enough for us both.”

 

Jaemin gasped, quickly shaking his head and laughing as he threw the pillow he was hugging at Jeno. “No! You can’t sleep on the floor.” He whined, sitting up on his knees. He leaned forward, and smiled teasingly as his nose bumped against Jeno’s. “We can share my bed.”

 

Jeno’s cheeks were burning. He swallowed the lump that formed in his throat, hoping that Jaemin wouldn’t hear his heart hammering against his chest. “What?”

 

Chuckling, Jaemin leaned forward more so that he was next to Jeno’s ear. “We’ve cuddled before.” He whispered, and Jeno could hear the smirk on his lips. Before Jeno could respond or push him away, Jaemin was already jumping off the bed and running out of the room to get snacks.

 

Jeno really wanted to punch Renjun for convincing him to come here.

 

“Couldn’t we just snack on that huge bag of candy you have under your bed?” Jeno chuckled when Jaemin came back into the room with a bucket of popcorn and two cans of soda. “Or did you eat all of it?”

 

“That’s just a bonus, Jeno.” Jaemin said with a wink. He placed the cans down on the bedside table, right next to a hamster plushie. “You wanna watch movies or something?”

 

“I’m kind of tired of movies, if I’m being honest.” Jeno shrugged. He grabbed a piece of popcorn once Jaemin sat across from him and placed the bucket between the both of them. “Besides, you would just fall asleep on me again.” He stuck his tongue out, Jaemin whining in response.

 

Jaemin looked around his bedroom as if trying to find something that could entertain them. “Okay..” he whispered. “Let’s get out of here then. We live in the city so there has to be something to do.”

 

“But it’s almost midnight.”

 

“Don’t be lame.”

 

“I’m not lame.”

 

Laughing, Jaemin crawled off of his bed and put a hand out for Jeno to take. “Let’s go.”

 

-

 

“Why did we get ice cream?” Jeno sighed, staying close to Jaemin’s side while crossing a busy street. He and Jaemin had decided to share a bowl of cookie dough ice cream despite it being freezing outside.

 

“Because it’s yummy.” Jaemin answered with a nod. He took his spoon and scooped up some of the ice cream for himself once they crossed the road, humming in content as he ate it. “Are you cold? We’re wearing jackets.” He mumbled and took the bowl from Jeno, using his free hand to reach down and hold the other’s. He interlocked their fingers, swinging their hands lightly between their bodies.

 

Jeno gulped. He wanted to pull away solely because he was nervous, but Jaemin’s hand was warm. Besides, Jeno knew Jaemin was just holding his hand for comfort.

 

They got hot chocolate from one of the street vendors after finishing their ice cream, and Jeno gulped it down rather quickly, making Jaemin complain.

 

“No fair.” Jaemin mumbled.

 

“You could have gotten your own!”

 

“I wanted to share! It’s expensive.”

 

“We should get a taxi back home.” Jeno said, sitting next to Jaemin outside of a closed cafe. “My feet hurt and it’s starting to snow.” He looked up, watching as snowflakes fell from the sky and landed on the concrete. Jaemin was sitting close to his side, his hand curled around Jeno’s arm.

 

“I can’t afford a taxi, and neither can you.” Jaemin laughed and used his free hand to poke Jeno’s cheeks. “You’re turning red. Is it the cold or are you blushing?”

 

Jeno’s eyes widened. “It’s definitely the cold.”

 

“Mhm.” Jaemin hummed, sliding his hand down to hold onto Jeno’s once again. He stood up, tugging on Jeno’s hand for him to follow. “Let’s get going before we turn into icicles.”

 

Once they got past the busy streets with  open restaurants, it was rather quiet. The sound of snowfall seemed to tune everything else out as they turned a corner, their feet crunching on the forming snow. Jeno was still holding Jaemin’s hand, and he smiled at the warmth it provided.

 

As they walked under a streetlamp and Jaemin rambled about nonsense, Jeno turned his gaze to a patch of grass peeking out from under the snow behind a fence. He pursed his lips and watched as they passed, swearing he could see flowers bloom in the snow.

 

“Jaemin, did you see that?” Jeno gasped, stopping in his tracks and nudging Jaemin’s arm. “The flowers!”

 

Jaemin pursed his lips and looked at where Jeno’s gaze was stuck. “O-Oh.” He whispered, his eyes widening slightly as he watched flowers bloom in a path seemingly leading to them. “That’s weird. Let’s go.” He whispered hurriedly, tugging on Jeno’s hand and pulling him forward.

 

“Did you do that?”

 

“What do I look like? A magician?” Jaemin laughed. He seemed nervous, but Jeno didn’t question it. He was joking, afterall.

 

-

 

Jeno curled up under Jaemin’s blankets. Jaemin was brushing his teeth, giving Jeno time to prepare for the incoming attack. He let out a sigh and reached back behind his head to adjust the pillow he was using. “Jaemin!” He called out. “Are you sure you don’t want me to sleep on the floor?”

 

Jaemin walked into his bedroom, shutting the bathroom door behind him. “The floor is just gonna hurt your back.” He said and crawled into bed next to Jeno, reaching beside him to turn off the lamp. “Why are you so nervous?” He laughed, sliding under the blankets and rolling onto his side to look at Jeno.

 

The only thing illuminating the room was Jaemin’s prized fairy lights dangling around the window curtains. Jeno decided they were good enough lighting as he hesitantly faced Jaemin. His eyes were still sparkling, and Jeno reached over to move a small tuft of brown hair out of his face. That made Jaemin’s cheeks turn pink, which Jeno noted was also very pretty.

 

“I’m not nervous.” Jeno mumbled. It was a lie, obviously. He was never nervous about sleeping next to anyone, but Jaemin was different.

 

Jaemin nodded slowly. He put one arm under his pillow, chuckling to himself while putting a hand out and tracing Jeno’s jawline with his finger. “You’re very pretty, Jeno.” He whispered.

 

Jeno held onto Jaemin’s hand, clutching it tightly for just a moment as he stared at the boy across from him. His heart was racing and yelling at him to lean forward and lock his lips with the other’s. Jaemin blinked and met his gaze with an expression as if he was expecting it, but Jeno just sighed and loosened his grip on Jaemin’s hand. “It’s really late.” He mumbled, rolling onto his back. “We should sleep.”

 

It took a while, especially after what almost happened, for Jeno to close his eyes. Jaemin stayed on his part of the bed, although he had one arm draped over Jeno’s waist, which was good enough comfort for Jeno as he drifted off.

 

He was sitting in his bedroom in this dream and judging by the decorations, it was around Christmas time.

 

“Jeno!” Jaemin snapped in front of his eyes, laughing when the other jumped. “You’re always drifting off.” He shook his head and scooted forward so he was sitting between Jeno’s legs comfortably, his own legs resting at Jeno’s sides.

 

Jaemin looked adorable. He had on, what seemed to be, one of Jeno’s oversized sweatshirts.

 

“Can I show you now?” Jaemin whispered, staring at Jeno with big, round eyes. “You can’t tell anyone, okay? My parents will kill me if they know I showed you this.”

 

Jeno nodded. “Go ahead.” He smiled and watched as Jaemin put two hands between them, giggling.

 

He didn’t expect to see what happened next.

 

Jaemin closed his eyes, his eyelashes fluttering in concentration. He wiggled his fingers a bit and opened his eyes again, the two of them watching as a rose grew from the palm of Jaemin’s hand, from a seed to a fully bloomed flower. “Pretty, right?” Jaemin whispered.

 

Darkness fell next and Jeno’s eyes were wide as he watched the light form in front of him. It lingered for a moment, and Jeno reached out, almost grabbing it fully before it escaped.

 

Jeno knew the dreams weren’t just a coincidence. There was something real about them.


	4. Chapter 4

“Can I ask you something?” Jeno was sitting across the table from Jaemin, both of them eating pancakes that Jaehyun had cooked for them. He picked at a piece of bacon, smiling a little when Jaemin looked up at him. 

 

“Yeah.” Jaemin shrugged. “What is it?”

 

Jeno shifted in his chair, glancing at Jaehyun who was cleaning dishes in the kitchen. He remembered the dream he had last night where Jaemin had mentioned his parents. As far as Jeno knew, Jaemin’s parents were nowhere to be seen. “Um.. what happened to your parents? They don’t live here?”

 

Jaemin paused, obviously stiffening up. He looked uncomfortable, and Jeno immediately felt bad for asking such a personal question. “I’m sorry.” Jeno said with a frown. “You don’t have to tell me.”

 

“No, it’s fine.” Jaemin put his fork down, wiping his hands off on a napkin. Jaehyun was listening from the kitchen, trying to make his eavesdropping not as obvious as it actually was. “My parents were murdered. Jaehyun didn’t live with us then.” He explained. “He’s here as my guardian now, I guess.”

 

“I’m so sorry, Jaemin.” Jeno’s eyes were wide and he reached across the table, grabbing onto Jaemin’s hand without a second thought. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

 

Smiling a little, Jaemin shook his head. “It’s okay. You would have asked eventually, right?” He gave Jeno’s hand a little squeeze. “And before you ask more, no we don’t know who did it. It’s more complicated than that.”

 

“Where did you guys live?” Jeno asked.

 

“Um.” Jaemin pulled his hand away from Jeno’s. “Around here.”

 

“You guys are gonna be late.” Jaehyun interrupted, coming to the table to pick up their plates. He gave Jeno a little smile, ruffling Jaemin’s hair with his free hand.

 

-

 

Jeno didn’t know why he felt the need to know so much about Jaemin before he moved in next door. Ever since he came into his life, the dreams have become more clear and he’s made an appearance in almost all of them. Maybe he was meant to fill the empty spots around him. The flowers they passed the night before were still sticking out of the snow, showing off their bright petals proudly. 

 

Jaemin had literally grown a flower in his hand in the dream Jeno had. It didn’t just seem like a regular dream that would eventually pass by his brain. He remembered it so clearly, like it was a memory.

 

“Jeno!” Jaemin snapped his fingers in front of Jeno’s face as they approached the school gates. “Why are you always drifting off?” He chuckled.

 

Again, deja vu. Jeno blinked rapidly before meeting Jaemin’s gaze. “You’ve said that before.” He mumbled, noticing the shocked look that grew on Jaemin’s face. Jaemin opened his mouth to respond before being interrupted by nearby shouting.

 

“Snow!” Jisung chuckled, hopping through the snow to get to the both of them. “Isn’t it fun? We should get together and have a snowball fight after school or something. I always win.” He bragged. “We can make Mark buy us stuff since he loses every time.”

 

The two of them followed Jisung into the school, unable to speak because of Jisung’s rambling. Jaemin kept glancing at Jeno, though. Jeno didn’t ignore it. He knew he had something to say that would have to wait.

 

-

 

“You called this emergency meeting why, exactly?” Haechan asked, leaning against the wall. They were in the large janitor’s closet at the end of one of the quietest hallways. This was their meeting spot ever since freshman year. “I’m missing a quiz for this, so it better be important.” He sighed and looked at the door when Mark hurried inside. That made his expression light up instantly.

 

“Yeah. We haven’t used this since Haechan had a hair crisis. Remember when he tried to dye it pink and it somehow ended up bright red? He looked like a-” Chenle started, squeaking when Haechan punched his arm.

 

“Shut up, Chenle.” Haechan retorted. “Don’t think we forgot when you got in the pool after dying yours blond and you ended up looking like a pea.”

 

Mark was laughing, but he shut up as soon as Haechan turned his glare to his direction.

 

Jeno sighed loudly. “You guys are such a mess.” He mumbled before clapping his hands together and clearing his throat. “I’ve called this meeting to discuss one thing in particular. That thing being Na Jaemin.”

 

“We’re so surprised.” Jisung gasped sarcastically, raising his hands up in fake shock.

 

“Shut up.” Jeno pointed at Jisung. “This is serious business.”

 

“Get on with it, then.” Renjun chuckled and nudged Jeno’s side with his elbow.

 

Jeno told them all about the dreams. Renjun was the only one who already knew, but he still acted surprised because they both knew the others would get upset if they knew he had found out before them. Jeno told them about how the blurry scenes that turned to lifelike dreams with Jaemin in them.

 

“And he grew a fucking flower in his hand!” Jeno exclaimed as quietly as he could, careful not to be too loud so that their secret spot wouldn’t get busted. “That was the dream I had right after I saw flowers literally bloom in the  _ snow _ . That isn’t possible.”

 

“Okay. So Jaemin is a witch.” Jisung nodded. “Then Haechan should investigate.”

 

“Park Jisung, shut your mouth. Just because I have tarot cards does not mean that I’m a witch.”

 

“Guys.” Jeno whined, stomping his feet a little. “I’m serious.”

 

Mark shrugged and threw an arm lazily around Haechan’s shoulders. “I mean, it’s weird, yeah.” He nodded. “But what is it supposed to mean? Do you really think this isn’t just a coincidence? If he’s on your mind a lot then of course you’re going to dream about him.”

 

Jeno knew he sounded crazy. While he realized how realistic the dreams were, he knew that the others wouldn’t understand since they haven’t been experiencing what he has. “I don’t know. Maybe he’s just the person I thought has been missing.”

 

The closet grew silent, and Jeno was frowning. There was no one he could talk to for answers except Jaemin himself. 

 

-

 

Jeno thought taking a nap would be a good idea. He went to the library immediately after leaving the hideout with his friends, waving them off to their classes. “Okay.” He whispered, sitting at a table near the history section that students barely touched. Folding up his jacket on the table and crossing his arms comfortably, he rested his head against the jacket and closed his eyes.

 

When he opened his eyes, he was on Jaemin’s couch. His hands were cupped on Jaemin’s cheeks, thumbs brushing across his soft skin and his lips locked with his. He couldn’t register exactly what was happening until Jaemin returned the kiss he was receiving. He was on Jeno’s lap, his arms loose around his neck as he tilted his head.

 

Jeno pulled back, staring at Jaemin with wide eyes. “Jaemin?”

 

“What? You don’t want to kiss me?” Jaemin whispered, chuckling and playing with Jeno’s hair.

 

Jeno knew there was something he was supposed to respond with, like he was just stuck inside of his body and he couldn’t control what was being said or what he was doing. “I-” He shook his head, refusing what seemed to be a programmed response. “Jaemin, I don’t have much time.” He whispered.

 

Jaemin pursed his lips and furrowed his brows, bringing his hands to Jeno’s shoulders. “What’s wrong? You’re acting weird.” He whispered. “Is this because of what I showed you? If you’re weirded out-”

 

“The flower?” Jeno interrupted, his eyes wide. “How did you do that?”

 

“What do you mean? Jeno, I’ve told you about my powers for days but you didn’t believe me until I showed you-”

 

“Powers?” Jeno sat up straight, nearly knocking his forehead against Jaemin’s. He shook his head quickly and moved his hands to rest comfortably on Jaemin’s hips. “Why am I dreaming about you so much?”

 

Jaemin’s eyes widened, and he looked over Jeno’s features as if he was trying to think of a response. “Jeno, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He whispered. “I honestly don’t.”

 

“Jaemin, please!” Jeno sighed and before he could even blink, the room turned into the black expanse he was familiar with. Jaemin was gone.

 

When Jeno returned to reality, tears were streaming down his cheeks and he was gasping for air. When he felt the touch of a hand on his shoulder, he jumped.

 

“Are you okay? Do you want me to call the nurse?” It was the librarian, she quickly removed her hand when noticing how shaky Jeno was. 

 

“No.” Jeno shook his head and stood up, gathering his things. “I need to go.” He whispered, practically running out of the library and down the hallway.

 

-

 

Jaemin wasn’t there to walk home with Jeno. According to Jisung, Jaemin didn’t feel well so he left early. That gave Jeno plenty of time to think and put his mind together while he walked by himself. 

 

Once he arrived at the end of his driveway, he looked at Jaemin’s house. “Fuck it.” He mumbled. Whispering words of courage to himself, he approached the front door and knocked on it. Jaehyun was the one to open the door, which Jeno wasn’t prepared for.

 

“Jaemin is in his room.” Jaehyun stood to the side, opening the door for Jeno to walk in and giving him a warm smile. “I’ll be down here if you need anything.”

 

Jeno stepped inside and took off his shoes, smiling. “Thanks.” He said to Jaehyun before moving up the stairs quickly, almost tripping over a step before he reached Jaemin’s bedroom. Jaemin was walking out of his bathroom in his pajamas, his hair fluffy from being freshly blow dried. Jeno blushed, clearing his throat.

 

“Jeno?” Jaemin blinked, clearly shocked to see Jeno standing in his doorway. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to walk with you. I got a really bad headache so I left early.” He frowned and walked towards Jeno. “What’s up?”

 

Everything Jeno wanted to say to Jaemin was suddenly wiped from his mind. All he could think about was the dream he recently had. Staring at Jaemin’s lips, he remembered what they felt like and how it pained him to pull away from them just to demand answers from the Jaemin in his dream.

 

“Jeno?”

 

“Who are you?” Jeno blurted out, his eyes trailing up to stare into Jaemin’s. He watched his expression change from playfully curious to confused. 

 

Jaemin hesitantly walked behind Jeno to shut his bedroom door. “Jeno-” He reached for his hand, frowning when the other pulled it out of his reach rather quickly. “I don’t know what you’re asking. My name is Na Jaemin. I’m just your neighbor and your friend.”

 

Blinking, Jeno could feel tears forming in his eyes, begging to spill down his cheeks. “Na Jaemin.” He whispered. “I don’t know how I know that you’re lying to me, but I do.” He wiped his eyes and folded his arms across his chest, clearing his throat in an attempt to gather himself. “Do you remember during the sleepover at Haechan’s when you came out to give me that blanket?”

 

Jaemin nodded, and Jeno sighed. “Why did I have a dream about that?” He furrowed his brows. “And I dreamed about my eighteenth birthday that I remember spending alone. But in my dream, I spent it with you and that seemed more believable than reality.”

 

Sighing, Jaemin ran a hand over his face. “Jeno, if I told you the truth you wouldn’t believe me.” His voice was shaky, and Jeno couldn’t understand why until he noticed the tears leaving his eyes. “If I told you I made those flowers bloom and I could do even more than that, what would you think?” He stepped forward, causing Jeno to step back. “If I told you those dreams are memories of a life we had, would you really believe that? Is that what you want to hear?”

 

Jeno shook his head and raised a hand as if to stop Jaemin from saying more. “You have powers? Really?” He mumbled. “Do you think I’m crazy too? Why the hell can’t anyone take me seriously-”

 

“Your eighteenth birthday.” Jaemin interrupted. “We baked a cake that ended up looking terrible because you were too impatient to wait for it to cool off before you put frosting on it.” He explained. “The first time I showed you my powers was when I had a flower bloom from my hand. The first time we kissed was on my couch. You dreamed of all that, right?”

 

Jeno nodded, at a loss for words.

 

“How would I know all of that if I was lying? I know what you’ve dreamt because I’ve been trying to show these memories to you.”

 

“You’ve done this to me?” Jeno shrieked, his eyes wide. “You’ve been somehow implanting all these dreams into my head and keeping me from sleeping peacefully?”

 

“Jeno-”

 

“No, fuck you!” Jeno was fully sobbing now, and his head was throbbing. “Why would you do that? How do you know all this?”

 

“I want you to remember.” Jaemin blurted out and gave a broken smile between his tears. “That’s all.”

 

“You’re crazy.” Jeno whispered, almost feeling his heart shatter when he saw the impact of his words on Jaemin’s face. He could see the hurt in his eyes, his bottom lip trembling. Reaching back, Jeno opened Jaemin’s bedroom door and ran out, not giving Jaemin a chance to say anything else. He fiddled with the front door’s lock before barreling out once it opened, running to his house. It wasn’t much distance between the two of them, but it was enough for him at the moment.

 

He wanted nothing to do with Na Jaemin.


	5. Chapter 5

Avoiding Jaemin at school was much harder than Jeno predicted it would be. He begged his mom for a ride in the mornings and back home so that he wouldn’t have to walk down the same path with Jaemin. 

 

“You aren’t walking with Jaemin?” She asked him.

 

“No. We aren’t friends anymore.”

 

Jeno had to make excuses every day to leave lunch. Jaemin would walk towards the group with his food and Jeno would grab his bag as quickly as he could, escaping the cafeteria and going to one of two places: the library or the hideout. The library was the best option since he didn’t know if somehow Jaemin knew about their hideout too. Being stuck in a closet with him wasn’t his ideal way to spend lunch. 

He wasn’t sleeping, either. He didn’t allow himself to doze off for more than a few seconds. It was even harder for Jeno to avoid Jaemin at home. Their bedroom windows faced each other, so Jeno made sure to keep his blinds down and his curtains closed.

 

Jeno sat at his desk, staring at the book in front of him. He normally had no trouble focusing enough to study, but it was different this time; he could barely keep his eyes open. Sighing, he closed the textbook and took his glasses off to rub his eyes in frustration. 

 

Walking down the stairs of his house, Jeno felt more tired than ever. He went directly to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator to get out his last energy drink he kept stashed away behind the leftovers. Opening the can, he leaned against the counter and began chugging the liquid down. Suddenly,  there was a knock on the door and he paused. “Please don’t be Jaemin.” He whispered.

 

When Jeno opened the door, he was relieved to see that it was his group of friends minus Jaemin. “What are you guys doing here?” He asked with one raised eyebrow.

 

“It’s obvious you haven’t been feeling well so we invited ourselves over for a sleepover.” Renjun said with a smile, Haechan walking inside the house and kicking his shoes off.

 

“We brought the best stuff since you’re feeling like complete shit.” Haechan announced with a bright smile, holding up two grocery bags. “We’re making cookies. Chocolate chip, to be exact.”

 

“You’re welcome.” Mark interrupted, sighing when he was shushed by Haechan.

 

Jeno watched as Haechan practically pranced into the kitchen while holding the two grocery bags high in the air, Mark following close behind. “We’ll get started on these!” He shouted from the kitchen.

 

Chenle and Jisung shoved their way into the house, running up the stairs so that they could fight over a spot for their sleeping bags. 

 

Jeno put the now empty energy drink on a table by the door, watching as Renjun walked inside and neatly put his shoes by the door before closing it. “Renjun.” He pursed his lips. “Do you remember my eighteenth birthday?”

 

Renjun paused. “Hm.” He frowned. “Actually, not much. I know I wasn’t there because I was visiting family, but the whole day is kind of a blur if I’m being honest. Why?”

 

A blur. Jeno shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. “Just asking. It’s blurry for me, too. Guess I’m getting old.” He laughed. “Thanks for coming and bringing them.”

 

“No problem. What are friends for, right?” Renjun playfully ruffled Jeno’s hair enough to mess it up, causing Jeno to whine

 

-

 

Jeno sat back in his chair, his feet kicked up and resting comfortably on his desk. “Jisung, at least leave some cookies for us.” He teased while watching Jisung pick up five cookies for himself before passing the plate along. “I know you’re a growing boy, but come on.”

 

“I’m barely younger than you.” Jisung huffed, sticking his tongue out. He leaned back against Jeno’s bed, pouting while eating one of his many cookies.

 

Haechan stood up from his spot on the floor, just having finished his own few cookies. “Jeno, no offense. You look like a hobbit in here with your curtains closed. It’s like a cave.” He said, walking towards the windows to pull the curtains open and bring the blinds up.

 

“No-” Jeno put a hand out to stop Haechan, but he sighed in defeat and retracted his hand back. He looked through the window and over to Jaemin’s. He vaguely registered Haechan beginning to ramble about nonsense while returning to sit on Jeno’s bed.

 

Jaemin was pacing back and forth in his bedroom, waving his hands as he argued with someone. When Jeno turned his head more, he could see that it was Jaehyun. Jaemin was crying, and by the look on Jaehyun’s face it looked like they were disagreeing on something. 

 

Jeno frowned, remembering the argument he had with Jaemin days ago. He seemed to be the only one who even saw what was going on next door.

 

Jaehyun left Jaemin’s bedroom, leaving Jaemin standing in the center of the room and wiping at his tears with shaky fingers. He turned around, arms folded across his chest as he met Jeno’s gaze through his window.

 

Jeno quickly looked away, his heart breaking in his chest. Half of him wanted to go to Jaemin’s house and wipe his tears away, but the other half of him was too stubborn to do so.

 

-

 

Jeno did manage to fall asleep that night. When he opened his eyes again, he was inside of what seemed to be a pillow fort. It seemed familiar, and somehow he could remember building it. Looking toward the entrance, he saw Jaemin crawling inside after pushing some blankets aside.

 

“Jaemin.” He smiled. The response and feelings didn’t feel programmed this time. 

 

“I got the candles.” Jaemin whispered excitedly, unable to hold back a fit of giggles as he put some candles down neatly around the pillows and blankets. “I know the lights in here are enough, but candles are romantic, right?”

 

Jeno watched in awe as Jaemin screwed the lids off of each candle. He was so pretty like this. Jaemin lifted a hand once all of the lids were off, each candle wick lighting up in a small flame simultaneously. “Perfect.” Jaemin smiled and looked at Jeno. “Cool, huh?”

 

“Very.” Jeno whispered, sitting up on his knees. Jaemin was fiddling with his fingers nervously, and Jeno chuckled as he crawled forward. “You’re nervous for once?”

 

“Shut up.” Jaemin laughed and lifted his hands, that were swallowed in the sleeves of one of Jeno’s jackets, to place them on the other’s cheeks. He gazed into his eyes like that for a moment, before giggling. He nuzzled his nose playfully against Jeno’s before locking their lips together, his eyes fluttering shut. 

 

Jeno smiled into the kiss as he returned it and leaned forward against Jaemin, the two of them laughing as they fell back into the blankets.

  
  


When Jaemin and the blankets and pillows all disappeared, Jeno hesitantly opened his eyes. The light was there, and he almost held it in his hands. He chased it as he always did, but this time he could run faster. The water underneath his feet never moved up, and just before he anticipated it to swallow him, he opened his eyes.

 

He was in his bedroom again, he had managed to sleep through the night. He only knew because of the sunlight nearly stabbing his eyes out through the window.

 

“You’re finally up.” Renjun laughed, standing at the doorway. “The others left already. I was gonna ask if you wanted to go get breakfast at that diner you like?”

 

Jeno shook his head and smiled a little. “No, thanks. I feel like I just woke up from a coma and I have a major headache.” He said, pushing himself to sit up. He looked out his window, sighing a bit when he saw Jaemin’s. 

 

“Alright.” Renjun nodded with a shrug of his shoulders. He wanted to ask Jeno about why the hell he wasn’t talking about Jaemin, but he decided it was best not to.  “I’ll see you soon, then. Get some more rest.” He said, giving Jeno a wave before leaving the room and going down the stairs.

 

Jeno hugged his knees to his chest, chewing on his bottom lip. The dream he had was too familiar to him. He could still feel Jaemin on his fingers and lips, and he could hear his laughter. Jeno sighed, he knew he couldn’t avoid him forever. 

 

-

 

Jeno paced back and forth in his bedroom that evening after his mom left for work. As much as he wanted to show up at Jaemin’s front door and apologize, he couldn’t get over how ridiculous everything he was told sounded. “We had a life together?” He whispered to himself, stopping in his steps for a second in thought. Maybe he believed it.

 

“No.” He whispered. “Jeno, you wouldn’t just forget someone who has powers. Besides, how the hell would he just  _ give _ you dreams?” 

 

_ He knew exactly what happened in them, though _ .

 

Jeno groaned and sat on the edge of his bed, putting his face in his hands. His mind was spinning, and it was almost getting too loud for him to handle until he heard something beating at his window.

 

He ignored it for a second, but then it continued. 

 

Getting up, Jeno walked across his bedroom and looked out the window, his eyes widening when he noticed it was Jaemin standing between their houses, picking up nearby rocks and throwing them at the closed window.

 

“Fuck.” Jeno mumbled. He sighed and put on the first nearby shoes and jacket he could find before walking out of his bedroom and going down the stairs. Now he was forced to confront Jaemin.

 

“Hey.” Jaemin smiled when Jeno approached him outside. His eyes were puffy and his nose was red, clear evidence he had been crying. “I wanted to apologize for.. everything.” He sniffled, using the back of his hand to rub his nose. 

 

“Jaemin, I-”

 

Jaemin quickly shook his head. “You don’t have to say anything.” He bit his bottom lip before continuing, fighting back more tears the best that he could. “Really. Everything I said was crazy and you had every right to be confused.”

 

Jeno frowned, resisting the urge he had to pull Jaemin into a hug. 

 

“Jaehyun and I are leaving tomorrow night. Our time here is up, for the most part. Well, mine is.” Jaemin chuckled weakly. “So I’ll be out of your hair and it’ll be like I never existed.”

 

“Jaemin.” Jeno said firmly. He frowned when Jaemin raised a hand to stop him from speaking again.

 

“Bye, Jeno.” Jaemin smiled. Tears that were pleading to leave his eyes were finally streaming down his cheeks after one blink. “I’m glad we got to be friends.” He said and offered no more than another smile before he turned, walking towards his house.

 

Jeno felt like he should run after him. Like he should chase him like he chased the light in his dreams, but he couldn’t. He was frozen in his spot, and he didn’t know he was crying until a cold breeze hit him, intensifying the coldness of the tears on his face.

 

“Goodbye.” He whispered.

 

-

 

Jeno didn’t sleep that night. He didn’t want to dream about Jaemin again knowing that he was leaving.

 

He was quiet on the ride to school the next day, his mom was on the phone with her coworker most of the time. That saved him from forcing conversations he wasn’t interested in having. Normally when walking into the school, he would greet his friends somewhere outside.

 

He walked in alone this time.

Jeno actually looked for Jaemin. When he walked down the halls, he glanced around in hopes of getting a glimpse of him. Even at lunch he anticipated Jaemin’s footsteps approaching the table, but they never came. 

 

“Where’s Jaemin?” Jeno asked his friends hesitantly, frowning when he was met by confused expressions. 

 

“Who?” Mark whispered with one raised eyebrow.

 

Jeno pursed his lips. “Don’t joke. He usually sits here.” He said, gesturing to the empty seat next to him.

 

Renjun glanced around at everyone, acknowledging what they were all probably thinking before clearing his throat. “Jeno. No one sits there. That seat’s been empty for years.”

 

Jeno stood up quickly, not understanding why everyone was acting like they forgot who Jaemin was. “Fuck you guys.” He muttered and grabbed his backpack, leaving the cafeteria. He kept walking down the hall until he was out the front doors. He ignored the shouts of confused teachers as he left the campus, walking down the same path he usually walked with Jaemin to get home.

 

When Jeno walked into his house, he threw his backpack to the side and immediately started crying. He was glad his mom wasn’t home. He could cry as loudly as he wanted, throwing himself onto his couch and grabbing a nearby pillow to cling onto.

  
  


He didn’t remember falling asleep. In fact, he didn’t know he fell asleep at all until he opened his eyes and he was standing across from Jaemin’s house.

 

He was holding flowers in his hands, and for some reason he felt excited about something.  _ It’s our anniversary _ . He thought to himself, a smile forming on his lips before he noticed what was really happening in front of him.

 

There were police cars lined up outside of Jaemin’s house. Yellow tape was being marked around the property, and his heart fell when he read the large bold letters on the tape.

 

‘Crime Scene’

 

Jeno dropped the flowers on the street, his eyes wide. He put one foot forward, then the other until he was running. He ran past the police and almost made it through the tape before someone pulled him out of the way and into a hug. “Jaemin!” He shouted with wide eyes. “Na Jaemin!”

 

“Jeno.” It was Renjun. His voice was shaky and when Jeno looked at him, he noticed he was crying. “Jaemin-” Renjun choked up, clinging onto Jeno tightly. “Jaemin was murdered with his parents. I’m so sorry, Jeno. I’m so sorry.”

 

“No, he can’t be dead. You’re lying. This is a prank.” Jeno rambled, trying to find some sort of excuse for what he was seeing. Renjun breaking into sobs and hugging him tightly was the only thing that convinced him it was real. Jaemin was gone.

 

The scene disappeared, and Jeno found himself choking on his tears as the light slowly rose up in front of him. It was brighter than usual, being the only thing illuminating the universe of darkness around him.

 

Jeno reached out with one shaky hand, closing his eyes tightly. He moved his fingers against the light before grabbing onto it. “Jaemin.” He whispered, gasping as he closed both hands around the light. “It’s Jaemin.”

 

He woke up abruptly, sitting up to look around his living room. His eyes were moving rapidly, and his heart was hammering against his chest.

 

“I remember him.”

 

-

 

Jeno threw his front door open and ran across his yard. He stumbled up Jaemin’s front steps, holding his breath anxiously as he raised a hand and pounded on the front door with his fist. “Jaemin!” He shouted. “Please-”

 

The front door opened, and Jeno felt like the world around him froze when he saw Jaemin standing in front of him. The breath got knocked out of his body and the words he wanted to say disappeared from his mind.

 

“Do you know who I am?” Jaemin whispered. His round eyes were wide and had the smallest glimmer  of hope. “The others probably don’t know now, right? Your memories were supposed to-”

 

Jeno threw his arms around Jaemin’s waist, pulling him into a hug and burying his face in his shoulder. His body shook as he cried into the curve of his neck, his arms embracing Jaemin as tight as they could possibly manage. “You said it would be like you never existed.” He cried. 

 

Jaemin wrapped his arms around Jeno’s neck, his fingers ran through Jeno’s hair soothingly. “Do you remember?” He whispered. “Why are you-”

 

Jeno stepped forward, backing Jaemin into his house. He leaned forward and pressed kisses all over the other’s face, from his forehead to his button nose and finally to his lips. “I remember you.” He whispered between kisses, tasting the saltiness of both of their tears. “I remember.”

 

They didn’t pull away from each other until Jaemin broke the kiss. He smiled widely and unwrapped his arms from around Jeno’s neck, sliding his hands down until he was holding Jeno’s tightly. “Please stop crying.” He whispered, bumping his nose against Jeno’s and kissing his tears away as they fell.

 

Jeno wanted answers, but he couldn’t gather himself together well enough just yet to form the questions he needed to ask. He stared at the boy across from him, sniffling. “Can we just relax for a while?” He whispered with a shaky voice. “As much as I want to know what the hell happened, I would rather sit and do nothing for a bit. I need a mental break.”

 

Laughing, Jaemin nodded. “Yeah.” He pressed a kiss to Jeno’s forehead, squeezing his hands and pulling him up the stairs. When reaching his bedroom, he sat on his bed and smiled at Jeno when he sat next to him. The two of them moved to lay down, facing each other silently.

 

“Jeno, I’m sorry.” Jaemin whispered after moments of silence. He was playing with Jeno’s fingers, his other hand wiping away his tears as they continued to fall. “I know it’s a lot, and I-”

 

“Please, Jaemin. I don’t want to talk about it yet.” Jeno pulled his hand away from Jaemin’s so that he could roll onto his back. His mind was swirling with the reality that he thought he knew and the memories that were flooding into him. “The last thing I should remember is you telling me you were leaving.” He said. “But it’s actually me finding out that you were killed. I can’t grasp it yet, so until I can, don’t say anything.”

 

Jaemin looked over Jeno’s features while watching him roll onto his back and shift to get comfortable. “Okay. If you don’t want answers now, then I’ll wait.” He scooted forward, kissing Jeno’s cheek before resting his head against his chest. He wrapped an arm loosely around Jeno’s waist and threw a leg over his. 

The two layed like that for a while. Jeno rubbing Jaemin’s back slowly, and Jaemin clinging onto him like a koala. It was familiar to the both of them.

 

“I loved you, didn’t I?” Jeno whispered.

 

“You did.” Jaemin smiled against Jeno’s chest. “And I loved you too.”


	6. Chapter 6

The memories still came to Jeno days later, but not like they used to. After he caught the light in his dream, they stopped coming that way. They came in different forms.

 

He remembered things when he was doing normal tasks, such as cleaning his room. He would remember when Jaemin would tease him for how messy it was and then help him clean up.

 

“How do you even let it get this messy?” Jaemin would say through pouted lips while organizing his bookshelf.

 

Jeno would roll his eyes, but smile when he saw Jaemin pouting. “So you can help me clean and we can spend time together. It’s very domestic, hm?” That would make Jaemin blush, which made Jeno feel proud of himself.

 

Or Jeno would remember when he was simply thinking about Jaemin. When he was thinking about how perfect his teeth were when he smiled, or how his eyelashes fluttered when he laughed, and the cute giggles he made when Jeno kissed his nose.

 

That made him miss Jaemin, even though he was always by his side. 

 

“What are you thinking about now?” Jaemin asked while sitting at Jeno’s side, the two of them were on Jeno’s floor in front of textbooks. “I thought you wanted to study but you haven’t even touched your book.”

 

Jeno looked at Jaemin. He really was perfect. “I can’t. Not right now, at least.” He closed his book, sighing. “You’re too distracting.”

 

Jaemin’s eyes widened. “I’m not doing anything!” He whined. 

 

“Yeah, right.” Jeno let out a burst of laughter, turning his body to face Jaemin’s. He pulled his knees to his chest, smiling widely. “You keep staring at me.”

 

“Yeah, so?” Jaemin furrowed his brows. He was pouting as he tapped his pencil against his textbook pages. “You look cute when you’re trying to focus.”

 

“That’s your excuse?”

 

“Yes it is.”

 

Chuckling, Jeno shook his head and stood up. He stretched his arms above his head, yawning. “I’ll just study some other time. The others are gonna be here soon, and I know damn well they aren’t bringing any school stuff.” He reached down to pick up his book, bringing it over to his desk and putting it down. 

 

“Oh, they’re coming?”

 

“Mhm.” Jeno nodded with a hum. He picked up Jaemin’s things for him, putting them on his desk as well. “I haven’t talked to them since I started remembering things. They should be remembering stuff too, right? So they’ll be confused.”

 

“I thought you didn’t want to talk about it yet.” Jaemin stood up as well, frowning. 

 

“I don’t. Not yet.” Jeno responded quickly and shook his head. “But I can’t just avoid them forever.”

 

Jaemin nodded. “Okay.” He said and walked forward, a wide smile on his lips. “Can we enjoy our alone time before they come, then?” He giggled suggestively.

 

Jeno’s eyes widened and he could feel heat rising to his cheeks. “Hey!” He huffed. When seeing Jaemin pout instantly at his response, he sighed and leaned forward to quickly kiss his lips. “We’ll have plenty of time to ourselves from now on. It isn’t like you live far away.”

 

“Whatever.” Jaemin rolled his eyes mockingly, laughing at Jeno’s bewildered expression. “I’ll make brownies before they get here!” Playfulness was still sparkling in his eyes as he turned to hurry out of the room, giggling all the way down the stairs.

 

-

 

Jeno sat across from the others on his bedroom floor, a plate of brownies between them. Jaemin was next to him, fiddling with his fingers silently. 

 

“So, what the fuck?” Haechan looked at them with wide eyes. “Can one of you tell me why I woke up  _ literally _ like a new person? I don’t mean any spiritual shit, I mean I literally woke up and had memories of stuff I didn’t even know happened.”

 

Jisung was stuffing his mouth full of brownies, pausing only when Mark cleared his throat. 

 

“Haechan just means he wants to know what’s happening.” Mark said, rubbing Haechan’s knee. “We all do, really.”

 

“Jeno doesn’t want me to explain yet. It’s a lot.” Jaemin glanced at Jeno. “Your minds are still adjusting, so I don’t know if it’s a good idea to overload it with information.”

 

Haechan sighed loudly. “Jeno may not want to know, but I do. It isn’t fair for him to speak on behalf of all of our heads!”

 

“Haechan.” Jeno started with a frown. “I-”

 

“Why do I remember Jaemin lighting a fire with his hand when we went camping? I don’t even like camping!” Haechan shrieked, raising his hands up for more exaggeration. “It was literally with his  _ hand _ . He waved it and boom! Fire.” He made an explosion gesture with his hands. “But I wasn’t even shocked.”

 

“He has powers.” Jeno stated calmly. That was one thing he remembered without Jaemin explaining. 

 

“Okay.” Haechan blinked, putting his hands back down. “How?”

 

Jeno sighed.

 

Jaemin swallowed a lump in his throat. “I was born with them.”

 

“And? People aren’t just born with powers.” Haechan leaned forward a bit.

 

“Yeah, humans aren’t born with powers.” Jaemin was growing nervous, which was obvious from the slight shake in his tone. 

 

“So you aren’t human?” Chenle asked with wide eyes.

 

“I-” Jaemin gulped. “Angels are born with powers.”

 

“Stop.” Jeno held onto one of Jaemin’s hands, stopping him from his nervous fidgeting. “You guys can’t just interrogate him.”

 

“Yes we can!” Haechan interrupted, frowning. “We have every right to know, Jeno. And he should tell us since he’s the only one who  _ does  _ know. Jaemin, what do you mean angels?”

 

“I’m an angel.” Jaemin blurted out, tears brimming his eyes. “There’s an entire hierarchy of them, and Jaehyun and I were born under the highest ranking two. My powers were seen as destructive, so I was sent here under the protection of guardian angels. They were murdered and I-”

 

“Stop!” Jeno shouted this time. He squeezed Jaemin’s hand, glaring at the others who were staring at Jaemin with baffled looks on their faces. “Stop making him explain. Stop looking at him like he’s crazy. I  _ do  _ have every right to speak for all of you.” He spat. “You guys think your heads hurt, but you haven’t had the dreams I had. You thought I was crazy when I told you about them.”

 

“Jeno-” Renjun started with a frown.

 

“Let me finish.” Jeno interrupted. “This isn’t only hard for me to hear right now, can’t you tell it’s hard for Jaemin just to explain it?” He shrieked, his arm now wrapping around Jaemin’s side protectively. “So we’re all going to forget this conversation happened, and we’re going to have a normal sleepover. If you have a problem with that you can leave.”

 

The room fell silent, and Jaemin was wiping his tears away with shaky fingers. He sniffled, leaning into Jeno’s side.

 

The rest of the sleepover wasn’t as awkward as Jeno expected it to be. Whenever there was a situation that made the atmosphere uncomfortable, Jisung or Chenle usually broke the ice by cracking jokes. Renjun eventually suggested that they watch a movie once it got late, and that was enough time for them to all calm down.

 

Jeno let Jaemin share his bed with him, the others curled up while sleeping in their sleeping bags.

 

“I’m sorry Haechan made you cry.” Jeno whispered, his hand rubbing Jaemin’s back. Jaemin had his face in Jeno’s chest, nuzzling it comfortably with his nose.

 

Jaemin shrugged. “I know he didn’t mean to. He’s just confused and I can’t really blame him.” He sighed and tilted his head up, smiling as he kissed Jeno’s chin. “Thank you for defending me.”

 

Jeno chuckled shyly. He pulled Jaemin close, hiding his face in a tuft of his hair. “Goodnight, Jaemin.”

 

-

  
  


Jeno watched as his friends gathered their things to leave. Jisung and Chenle were the first to go. Jisung said he didn’t want to miss out on the free pancakes before noon at his favorite restaurant, and he forced Chenle to tag along. Jaemin was still asleep in Jeno’s bed, curled up underneath the blankets and hugging a pillow.

 

“Hey.” Renjun nudged Jeno’s shoulder to pull him aside. “I just wanted to apologize for not believing you about everything. Now that things are coming back I’m confused and I can’t even imagine how it was for you, with us calling you crazy and all.”

 

Jeno smiled a little. “I did sound crazy.” He chuckled silently and glanced at Jaemin when hearing the blankets ruffle from him turning onto his side. “I’m not mad at you and I’m not mad at Haechan. I know how he is when he’s frustrated.”

 

As if on cue, Haechan walked into the bedroom to pick up the jacket he left on the desk. “Forgot this.” He said and offered a small wave, pausing a bit when his eyes landed on a sleeping Jaemin. “I was going to apologize, but he’s knocked out.” He sighed. 

 

“I thought I was the one not getting enough sleep, but I guess he wasn’t either.” Jeno frowned. “Don’t worry about it. You’ll see him at school or something soon.”

 

“Right.” Haechan nodded. “Bye, then.” He smiled a little before turning to leave the room and go down the stairs to meet Mark.

 

“I’m gonna get going too.” Renjun decided, and he was surprised to see the look on Jeno’s face that said he wasn’t ready for Renjun to go.

 

Jeno cleared his throat and stared at Jaemin a little longer to make sure he was still asleep. His breathing stopped for a moment as the memory came to his mind before he opened his mouth to speak. “Renjun. Do you remember my anniversary with Jaemin?” He asked, watching his best friend’s expression fall.

 

Renjun nodded, and Jeno could tell it was hard for him to remember too. “Yeah.” He whispered. His tone was shaky, and there was a heavy weight of sadness sitting on his chest. “I don’t get it. He _ died _ , Jeno. I get that you aren’t ready for answers, but we need them. He just told us he’s an angel.”

 

“Renjun.” Jeno sighed, frustration filling his voice.

 

“I know.” Renjun smiled a little in understanding. There was a long pause before Renjun shook his head. “I get it. I’ll talk to you soon, yeah?” 

 

Jeno nodded. Renjun was the most understanding compared to the others. He watched Renjun grab his things that were packed neatly before leaving. When hearing a small whine, he turned to look at Jaemin. He was still asleep, probably dreaming about something. 

 

Smiling, Jeno sat on the edge of his bed and lifted a hand to move Jaemin’s hair out of his face. It wasn’t hard for him to believe that Jaemin really was an angel.

 

-

 

Walking to school with Jaemin was one of Jeno’s favorite things to do; along with walking home from school with him, of course. He felt himself wanting to hold his hand or hug his side more than anything. Whenever they stopped in their steps to kiss, he remembered that Jaemin often smiled into kisses.

 

“Before we go in,” Jeno stepped in front of Jaemin when they approached the school gates. “I wanted to talk to you without the others around.” He took Jaemin’s hands in his, giving them a gentle squeeze. 

 

“What is it?” Jaemin frowned a little, not knowing how serious the talk would be. He only felt calmed when Jeno smiled and leaned forward to kiss his nose. 

 

“Relax.” Jeno laughed and let go of Jaemin’s hands to instead wrap his arms loosely around his waist. “I just wanted a second alone with you before everyone else takes over.” He said with a hum, kissing Jaemin’s cheek this time.

 

“Oh, now you’re the one who wants alone time?” Jaemin asked with a smile that was gleaming with playfulness. He poked Jeno’s chest, laughing. “According to you, we get plenty of time to ourselves anyway.”

 

Jeno whined and pulled away when Jaemin jabbed his chest with a finger. “I mean, I don’t know if you’re going to get bombarded with questions again.” He sighed and rubbed the spot he was poked at. “I could tell how uncomfortable it made you, and I don’t want it to happen again.”

 

Jaemin frowned, and Jeno instantly regretted bringing it up.

 

“I mean.” Jeno shook his head quickly. “I’ve been thinking of myself and how difficult it’s been for me, but I can’t even imagine how it was for you. You aren’t ready to explain everything, especially when you’re being interrogated-”

 

“Jeno.” Jaemin pursed his lips.

 

“All I’m saying is that I’m ready to hear when you’re ready to tell.” Jeno nodded firmly, and smiled. “I mean it. I love you.”

 

Jaemin’s eyes widened and he felt his heart leap up into his throat. He blinked rapidly. “You love me?”

 

“I love you.” Jeno repeated. His cheeks were heating up, and Jaemin’s reaction to the words wasn’t helping that fact. “I remember how I felt, and even if I didn’t I would still feel that way now.”

 

“I love you too.” Jaemin responded and brought his hands up to Jeno’s cheeks, chuckling. He squealed and leaned forward, repeatedly pressing kisses against Jeno’s lips and smiling when hearing Jeno emit small giggles.

 

-

 

Sitting down at the lunch table with Jaemin was nothing more than an awkward silence as they sat across from the others; Haechan, in particular. 

 

“I think Haechan wants to apologize.” Mark said after a long moment of no one speaking and just picking at their food. 

 

“Mark!” Haechan gasped, slapping Mark’s arm and pouting. He sighed, reaching up to rub his forehead before landing his gaze on Jaemin, who was sitting silently and fidgeting with his fingers. 

 

“Well?” Jeno raised an eyebrow.

 

Haechan frowned. “You know I’m bad at this.” He whisper yelled. “Jaemin, I’m sorry for being so pushy.” He sat up straight and cleared his throat. It was obvious Haechan didn’t know exactly what to say or how his posture should be, but it was also obvious that he was trying. “No matter how confused I am about what the hell is going on, I shouldn’t have been so mean.”

 

Jaemin smiled and shrugged his shoulders. “It’s okay. I can’t really blame you.” He chuckled, glancing at Jeno before continuing. “It is hard for me to talk about, but I understand you wanting answers.”

 

Haechan smiled. It was a genuine smile, one showing he was happy that his apology was accepted.

 

“Can I ask something?” Jisung interrupted hesitantly. Jeno immediately tensed up and parted his lips to respond, but stopped when feeling Jaemin’s hand rest on his thigh.

 

“Go ahead.” Jaemin said nervously.

 

Jisung looked around at everyone before leaning forward, his eyes wide. “You mentioned a, like, hierarchy of angels?” He whispered. “If you and your brother were born under the highest, does that mean what I think?”   
  


Jaemin smiled a little, much to Jeno’s relief. “I’m a prince.” He chuckled with a nod. 

 

“Cool.” Jisung gasped. “What’s your power? What about your brother’s?”

 

“Jisung-” Jeno interrupted.

 

“It’s okay.” Jaemin rubbed Jeno’s thigh comfortingly and gave him a smile before returning to Jisung’s gaze that was full of awe. “I can control the elements. Jaehyun’s power is healing. Both of ours are rare, but as I said before, mine can be much more destructive than healing.”

 

“Well.” Jisung leaned back, folding his arms across his chest. “I think your powers are cooler.”

 

Jaemin let out a burst of laughter. “Thanks, Jisung.” He chuckled, smiling widely as he picked up his plastic fork to continue eating.

 

Jeno smiled. It was the happiest Jaemin had looked when talking about the past.

 

-

 

Jeno decided to go to Jaemin’s house that afternoon. They walked home together as usual, kisses and hand holding and all. Jaemin was warm even in the cold, and that was one of Jeno’s favorite things about him, among many other things.

 

One thing Jeno loved especially about Jaemin was how he looked when he was focused. He realized that as they sat together on Jaemin’s bed, books and papers spread neatly between the two. Jaemin was once again being too distracting.

 

Jaemin sat with his nose scrunched slightly and his lips pursed into a small pout as he studied the material in his history book. Every so often, he would reach up to move a hand through his hair. Jeno wondered what was going on in his mind. He also wondered how Jaemin would react if he pushed the books off the bed and leaned forward to kiss him. 

 

“I can feel you staring at me.” Jaemin spoke with a playful hum. He looked up at Jeno, grinning widely. “At times like this, I wish I could read minds.”

 

“What do you think I’m thinking?” Jeno chuckled and smiled playfully. He put his pencil down that he had been absentmindedly tapping against his leg. He really wanted to kiss Jaemin and he didn’t care how obvious that was. Even though he knew he could sketch every inch of Jaemin’s face with his eyes closed, he still wanted to kiss every single inch.

 

Jaemin shrugged. He crawled forward and placed himself on Jeno’s lap, kissing the end of his nose. “Don’t know.” He wrapped his arms around the other’s neck, smiling widely as he ran his slender fingers through his hair. “But I do know we won’t get any work done like this.”

 

Jeno grinned widely and brought his hands up to Jaemin’s sides. He had a devious look on his face, and he immediately began tickling him before Jaemin could register what he was planning. “Did you think I would forget how ticklish you are?” He laughed when Jaemin squealed and tensed up in defense. 

 

Jaemin laughed loudly, attempting to move out of Jeno’s grip but gasped in defeat when Jeno pushed him back against the pillows, still tickling him mercilessly. “Stop!” Jaemin screeched, kicking his legs a bit and moving his hands to grab Jeno’s. “Stop it.” He whined and chuckled, now out of breath.

 

“This is much better than studying.” Jeno moved to hover above Jaemin, holding onto his hands as he leaned down to kiss his nose before kissing the pair of lips he had been staring at. He kissed him every second, and every second after that until he heard the door open.

 

The two pulled away from each other, looking at the door to meet a shocked Jaehyun.

 

“Um.” Jaehyun cleared his throat. “Sorry, guys. I forgot Jeno was coming over.”

 

Jaemin sat up and smiled awkwardly at his older brother, Jeno scooting away from Jaemin on the bed and grabbing his book to return to staring blankly at the pages.

 

“What is it?” Jaemin asked, blinking. 

 

“I just wanted to tell you that I’m going to see mom and dad.” Jaehyun said. Jeno noticed Jaemin’s frown. “I need to tell them about everything.”

 

Jaemin nodded slowly. “Okay.” He whispered, his voice cracking a bit. “That’s fine. I’ll see you tomorrow, then?”

 

“Yeah.” Jaehyun nodded, noticing the look on Jaemin’s face. “It’ll be okay. Goodnight, you two.” He winked and walked backwards out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

 

Jeno sat next to Jaemin in silence for a few minutes, watching as Jaemin turned pages in his book in an attempt to set his focus on something else. “Jaemin?” He whispered. “Do you wanna talk?”

 

“About?” Jaemin glanced at Jeno.

 

“You know what.” Jeno moved to sit in front of Jaemin. He moved the books and papers out from between them, moving them onto the floor carefully. “He’s going to see your parents. The ones who sent you here because of your powers. I want to understand what’s happening but if you aren’t ready to tell me, it’s fine.”

 

Jaemin studied Jeno’s expression. “Are you sure?” He whispered, frowning. “Just the other day you said you needed a mental break.”

 

“I’m ready.” Jeno took Jaemin’s hands in his, smiling comfortingly. “Only if you’re ready to explain.”

 

“Jaehyun was favored by my parents.” Jaemin started hesitantly. He stared down at Jeno’s fingers, playing with them as he spoke. “He can heal, and who wouldn’t want that? After I was sent here and I learned to control my powers under my guardians’ training, I met you.”

 

Jeno noticed the small smile on Jaemin’s lips before it disappeared.

 

“I met you and fell in love with you.” Jaemin continued, finally looking up at Jeno. “There’s nothing confusing about that. But then I died and now I’m here. That’s what boggles everyone’s minds.” He sniffled and let go of one of Jeno’s hands, reaching up to rub his eyes. “Not only how I came back here, but how my guardians and I died.”

 

Jeno nodded. He wanted Jaemin to continue, even though it was hurting them both.

 

“If angels exist, then so do demons.” Jaemin sighed shakily. “They wanted me for my powers so they killed my guardians and tried to take me. I fought back, and they didn’t like that. I did die before Jaehyun came. He brought me home and healed me.” He smiled with shaky lips. “Once I recovered, I begged my parents to let me come back so that I could be with you. They told me that once I left, they wiped everyone’s memories of me.”

 

“That’s why I didn’t remember you?” Jeno whispered. “That’s why none of us knew you?”

 

Jaemin frowned. “Yeah.” He shifted a bit, squeezing Jeno’s hand. “I told them that if they let me come back, I could have you and everyone else remember. My guardians taught me how to manipulate dreams because I used to have nightmares growing up, so I used that knowledge. I was on a time limit, though. If you couldn’t remember within a certain time, it would be like I never existed.” There were tears streaming down his cheeks as he spoke. “Jaehyun came with me. He wanted to protect me incase anything.. went wrong. I’m sorry it was so scary, Jeno. Your mind didn’t want to remember.”

 

“Baby, it’s okay.” Jeno whined. “Jaemin-”

 

“I was so selfish.” Jaemin cried. “You weren’t getting any sleep because I just wanted to be with you again. I’m sorry.”

 

Jeno quickly shook his head and pulled Jaemin to sit on his lap, wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug. He kissed the side of his head when Jaemin buried his face in his shoulder. “Don’t be sorry.” He rubbed Jaemin’s back, frowning. “I didn’t know why at the time, but I was so empty without you. I missed you so much and I didn’t even know it.” 

 

“Jeno-”

 

“Shh.” Jeno whispered and pulled away from the hug so that he could smile at Jaemin. He hated seeing him so sad, and his heart fell at the sight of his tear stained cheeks. “It’s okay. I remember you now and I’m so glad you’re here.” Removing an arm from around his waist, he lifted his hand and wiped the remaining tears away. “Everything is okay.”

 

Jaemin smiled, the corners of his lips still shaky. He rested his forehead against Jeno’s, sighing. They sat like that for a few moments, just holding each other and listening to each other’s breathing in the silence.

 

“Wanna cuddle?” Jeno whispered, smiling widely when Jaemin responded with a loud laugh. “Please?”

 

“We really aren’t gonna get any work done.” Jaemin said and moved to lay down, chuckling when Jeno followed. 

 

Jeno pouted and scooted forward once he was laying across from Jaemin, tangling their legs together. “I told you you’re distracting.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

-

 

Once the two met up with the others in the hideout at school to explain everything, they both felt a weight off of their shoulders. It was hard for Jaemin to explain his past, which is why Jeno took over most parts for  him. Haechan didn’t ask questions this time. He just stared with wide eyes and an open jaw, which Mark had to reach over to close multiple times.

 

“So, are you immortal?” Jisung asked during the silence at the end that everyone was using to grasp the information they just learned.

 

“No.” Jaemin quickly responded. “I’ll age just like you guys will.”

 

“Cool.” Renjun chuckled. Everyone turned to look at him. He had been the most silent, and he whined when noticing the stares on him. “What? I didn’t want to interrupt. This is a lot to learn anyways, especially during midterms!”

 

“Since when do you care about midterms?” Chenle snorted.

 

“Shut up, Chenle.”

 

“Anyways.” Jisung raised his hands up by his sides. “I can now say I have the most badass friend ever. And I will definitely be going to church.”

 

“Jesus.” Haechan groaned, rubbing his forehead.

 

“Exactly.” Jisung smiled.

 

Jeno chuckled and reached over to hold Jaemin’s hand. “Well, now that that’s done.” He hummed. “We’re gonna get going.”

 

“And where are you going?” Jisung asked, blinking. “Can we come?”

 

“We just wanna look at college options. You know, those handouts that the advisors have been giving out? The ones that you throw away.” Jeno teased and stuck out his tongue. 

 

“Oh, good idea!” Mark gasped. “I forgot to tell you guys. I got accepted into my dream school.”

 

“The one in Canada?” Renjun asked curiously, Haechan instantly frowning.

 

“No.” Mark shook his head, smiling proudly and folding his arms across his chest. “I’m staying here. I wanna be closer to you guys. In fact, it’s the same school Haechan recently got accepted to.”

 

Haechan smiled and threw his arms around Mark’s side, bouncing up and down. “I didn’t know you applied!” He whined with a pout.

 

“I wanted to surprise you.” Mark chuckled and kissed Haechan’s forehead, smiling.

 

“Let’s get out of here before they make out.” Jisung said, pushing past everyone and knocking over janitor supplies to get out of the closet as quickly as possible. “Come on, guys.”

 

Everyone followed closely behind, which made Haechan whine in defense and Mark laugh loudly. 

  
  


-

 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Jeno whined while walking home with Jaemin. He noticed Jaemin staring at him ever since they left the gates, and they were now just a few minutes from their houses. “You’re creepy.”   
  


Laughing, Jaemin wrapped his arms around Jeno’s side and pulled him close, nuzzling his nose against his cheek. “You’re so pretty!” He squealed and repeatedly kissed his cheek, chuckling when Jeno whined and attempted to pull away. 

 

Jeno huffed in response. “Stop.” He chuckled, heat rising to his cheeks.

 

“Did you decide on a college today?” Jaemin asked curiously, finally releasing Jeno from his grip and holding onto his hand instead. 

 

Jeno shrugged, smiling at the other. “I used to want to go to college so badly.” He sighed. “I had it all planned out. Everything is different now, though.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I have you.”

 

Jaemin stopped walking and stared across at Jeno, frowning. “Don’t let me stop you from doing what you want. Just because I don’t care much about going myself doesn’t mean you can’t go.”

 

“You aren’t stopping me.” Jeno smiled. He brought Jaemin’s hand up so he could kiss it, chuckling under his breath. “I never really knew what I would major in, anyway. So what’s wrong with putting that on hold for a bit? I’m not saying I’ll never go.”

 

“It sounds a lot like I’m stopping you.” Jaemin sighed, pouting now.

 

“Stop!” Jeno laughed and pulled Jaemin close. He rested his hands on his hips, smiling brightly. “I want to go to college  _ eventually _ , but right now I just want to focus on being with you.”

 

“Are you sure?” Jaemin raised his eyebrows. “I’m really not holding you back?”

 

“You aren’t holding me back at all, and I am sure.” Jeno rubbed Jaemin’s hip bones with his thumbs. “I love you. Let me annoy you for at least a year and then maybe I’ll go to school.”

 

Chuckling, Jaemin wrapped his arms around Jeno and kissed the corners of his lips. “I love you too. And I’ll be the one annoying you.” He said with a bright smile that made Jeno’s heart beat just a bit faster.

 

“You promise?” Jeno grinned.

 

“Of course. I’ll annoy you so much.” Jaemin laughed loudly, pulling away and tugging on Jeno’s hand. “Can we go to your house now and avoid studying again?”

 

Jeno nodded, smiling while he let Jaemin pull him home. He intertwined their fingers and looked over at a pile of snow that was beginning to melt from being under the sun. Flowers pushed out from underneath the white cold, their colorful petals showing themselves proudly. He knew it was Jaemin’s doing, and he didn’t question it. Instead, he leaned over to kiss Jaemin’s cheek.

 

Jeno was happy that he wasn’t dreaming.

 

**Author's Note:**

> wow uhhh i cant believe its actually all posted now and out there 
> 
> i wrote this during a rly hard time but im so proud of how it came out. thank you to my friends who supported me through it all <3 and i hope all the readers enjoyed!


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